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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

Why won't my mom let me date?


 
I’m 13, I get good grades, and I’m responsible. So why won’t my mom let me have a boyfriend?

 

Dear Mom Says No,

Some parents have a hard time watching their little girls turn into teenagers. Others want to make sure their daughters don't get obsessed with boys and give up everything else in their lives. Still others get understandably worried that a BF who smokes or drinks or gets bad grades might influence their daughters. Rather than arguing in the abstract, keep making friends with girls and guys. If a certain boy becomes important to you, talk to your mom about why you like him. Invite him over so she can meet him. As you become more and more mature, your mom will become more and more comfortable with all this.
 
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 12/5/2012 11:00:00 AM

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25 Comments | Add Yours
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Dear MOD,
i have a serious problem because 2 days ago my ex-boyfriend dumped me because he said things were awkward because different people were crushing on me and telling him to dumped me, but the next day he asks someone else out. I still have a big crush on him and it hurts to see him and talk to him. Plus he sits next to me in social studies, is in my homeroom, first period and 3 lockers down from me. I think he's a jerk and want to get over him, but its hard.It seemed like he used it as an excused and been looking for one because he kept asking how i still liked him and i could do so much better, but it still hurts. Please give me some advice!?

 

Hey sweetheart2064, give yourself time to get over him. You can't make all these feelings go away in a day. I would cry about him, be angry and feel all the other things you're feeling. Because if you get those things out, they won't bother you anymore. Remember he is just one guy, and you are soooo young, don't let this make you feel like a failure. Everyone has dated a jerk, so you're not alone. You will be fine girl. Write to me anytime! Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by sweetheart2064 on 1/18/2013 6:57:45 PM

 
 

To be or not to be.....I have a crush on my BGF but im not allowed to go out with him. My mom says its because im too young(im in 9th grade) and she never had very good relationships wich I get but it makes me so depressed. I have agreed not to date but I dont know how to get him off my mind since I see him every day at school and hes my friend. So I was wondering what to do. My BGF is not like any guy, hes the nicest guy I have ever met and hes adorkable plus my friends are so supportive. I am almost certian he likes me back. How can I move forward till my mom says I can date him? Anythingwould be helpful, thanks

Hey girlie,

I know it's difficult, but try to understand why your mom is setting those rules. She's only being cautious because she loves you and doesn't want you to get hurt! You don't have to stop seeing him or talking to him, just try to stay friends for now and not be more than that. Maybe you and your mom can make a compromise about a dating age that's appropriate, or that you could hang out with him in a group date. Try to be respectful of her opinions and listen to her reasoning!

Meghan D.

by Quietfriend1415 on 1/14/2013 6:10:44 PM

 
 

There is no set age on dating, everyone and our parents are different. Some parents encourage it and others dont. You just need to do it when you feel ready and not follow friends, but it seems normal to date at 12 and 13 for some people. A lot of people say you should be older because of the temptations that come along with dating. And a lot of us give in or feel pressured, so I would do what feels comfortable for you.

by fashionqn on 1/8/2013 11:01:49 PM

 
 

How old should you be to have a bf? I'm 12 and was just wondering. One of my bffs has had different bfs since like 1ST GRADE! What??

by Rotfl:brbttyl:) on 1/3/2013 5:29:33 PM

 
 

I am 14 in 9th grade and i am not allowed to date until i turn 16. It sucks because there has been boys that i have really liked that has really liked me back and i couldn't do anything. But something i learned is that you may say that you are in love with this boy or with that boy but you really aren't. you just have strong feelings for him. I became the girlfriend of some kid that i had liked for a whole school year but we did't go until the end of the year which sucked because it was only 2 weeks. And he broke up with me because he didn't want to have a long distance relationship since he was going to London for the summer(because of the Olympics). the following school year we got back together but i broke up with him because i thought that i was in love with someone else. It was a mistake and the thing is that me and that kid still have feelings for each but we can't out. You can't say you love someone because you have strong feelings for them.

by bearryorange on 1/3/2013 9:34:41 AM

 
 

BF at 11, not the best idea?

One of my acquaintances at school told me her sister has a bf at age 11. We were talking about guys and dating and she mentioned her sister was dating and now has her first bf. I am not sure if that is a good idea but she felt it was not a big deal. We never got around to talking about if her mom knew, I would think she does so everyone's family and what we can do is different.

by fashionqn on 12/13/2012 5:01:44 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod!!!!! Ok so usually people hang out with boys outside of school and stuff. I haven't exactly done that yet..... I am in 7th grade and i communicate with them but i really would never end up going to like the beach with them... I don't really like my grade. The guys at our school isolate themselves but not to their girlfriends. Im starting to wonder if this is not normal.....

 

Hey girlie, you're only in 7th grade. So it's not a big deal that you're not hanging out with boys outside of school. Boys at your age are still really immature, so it's fine if there's not anyone that you want to hang out with. 


Lauren T.

by marylofal16 on 12/12/2012 7:51:44 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Dear Girls Life,
I Want a boyfriend so bad because i feel lonely all the time. I think im really pretty and ssweet and nice to everyone so i would be able t gte a guy but there are no cute nice boys at my school how do i get one, I mean its ok with my mom and everthing i just really need a guy

 

Hey girlie, unfortunately there are times when that happens to everyone. Just because you haven't met the right guy to be your boyfriend doesn't mean you should feel lonely. You still have your friends and family. Appreciate the time you have with them and just have fun. They always say that you find love when you're not looking for it, and I've found that to be true. 


Lauren T.

by leah52899 on 12/12/2012 5:40:50 PM

 
 

I need help, ASAP! so this boy told my best friend he likes me and now everyone seems to think i like him to! They all tell me to go out with him when I dont even like him! And i cant have a conversation with my friend without her saying " Oh he loves you, you love him you guys are perfect for eachother" its really bugging me and i tried to talk to her about it and she said "Okay but im still gonna think what i want".. she told everyone about it and now people always bug me about it. what do i do!!??!! PLease HELP!


Hey girl,

If he hasn't said anything to you, you don't have to do anything about it since this is just a rumor, but if he does say something to you, tell him that you just want to be friends with him. It's better to be honest with him now than to hurt his feelings later! As for your friend, just tell her you don't like him and don't want to talk about it, and try starting conversations with her about other topics. She will get the hint eventually!


Meghan D.

Meghan D.

by livelovelaugh143 on 12/10/2012 8:22:18 PM

 
 

There is this guy I REALLY like at school (I'm in 8th grade) and I think he likes me but I don't know! On a field trip he told me he wanted to me in my group but my group was full and he sounded kinda sad. We also eat lunch together everyday with one of our other friends. He sits behind me in one of our classes and always talks to me during passing period... and I walk him out to the bus after school everyday with one of my girlfriends. One time he warned me that this super creepy guy was gonna ask me to dance so I could avoid the creeper the whole dance and I thanked him but he didn't really say anything--all he did was tease me about it! I don't know if he likes me but if he does I would like to ask him out. But I have the same problem, my mom won't let me date. Please help, thanks. Smile

by maksquirt on 12/9/2012 8:28:41 PM

 
 

I am not allowed to date but I don't care that much right now because every guy in my class is really mean!

by cupcakecutie325 on 12/9/2012 11:23:00 AM

 
 

Thanks! Smile

by gummybear<3 on 12/7/2012 9:27:14 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD please help!
there was this guy who i think likes me, but i was rushing and i told him i couldn't talk, but when it came out it kind of sounded rude. should i say sorry i dont know what to do and he is really nice. now i feel all guilty and am worried about it.




Hey girl! Definitely tell him you're sorry and explain what was up. I'm sure he will understand and it will be no biggie. Good luck! 




xoxo

Taeler  
Taeler L.

by gummybear<3 on 12/7/2012 8:08:12 PM

 
 

One of my BGF's likes me a LOT, and people have told me including him! The problem is, he's not a guy I want to date. How do I let him down easy without hurting his feelings and destroying our friendship?

by foreverdeanna on 12/6/2012 11:18:45 PM

 
 

Don't stress! I once didn't get my period until alomst 6 weeks after the time before it. I got really worried, but in the end I knew I just had to wait it out. Smile

by foreverdeanna on 12/6/2012 11:14:59 PM

 
 

Just like we have to get used to things, I think our moms have to get used to us growing up. Getting a bf is a big step and I think the earlier we start dating the earlier we start doing certain things like kissing and other stuff. And based how guy crazy so many of us are and how early we want to be independent they try to shield us. Just talk and see if she will be open to you having close guy friends and maybe that will let you start dating. bfs are great but pressure also comes with having one.

by fashionqn on 12/6/2012 11:12:28 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
I got my period 47 days ago and haven't gotten it since. I know it should be irregular, but I am starting to worry.

 

Hey girl-

Don't stress! It's normal for it to seem like it disappeared. Just let nature take its course. xoxo 


alexis g.

by HappySunshine on 12/6/2012 7:01:43 AM

 
 

This exactly what ive been wondering. Last year in 6th grade i dated my bgf and we were happy but we broke up the next day and i had to hide my feelings cause i didnt want my parents to find out. will i ever be able to tell them and convince them to let me date?

by cutieartist on 12/5/2012 10:47:33 PM

 
 



MOD!
So my BGF (who I have a crush on) offered to go to this dance with me over the weekend, and I was so excited. But he barely hung out with me at all! He spent the whole time with some guy and three other girls I don't really know, and I hung out with my own friends. I got mad at him for not spending time with me and went to the party after without him. I try really hard to not be jealous, but idk how! He's never going to like me if I can't accept his other friends who are girls Frown What do I do?

 

Hey girlie, if he's not paying attention to you and showing you that he likes you even as a friend, he's probably not worth your time right now. Find other boys to pay attention to and maybe it'll make him jealous and see what he's missing. 


Lauren T.

by Alle93 on 12/5/2012 5:58:21 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
So there's this guy in my Bio class and I really am starting to fall for him. I don't talk to him a lot but when I do he's really nice and sweet. I'm not sure if it's just his general nature or what but I just am nice back hoping he'll take the hint. We have talked in the hallways and I have his number.(which I asked for) When we talked in the hallways he brought up the fact that we were born in the same country (Argentina) which we both mentioned in the beginning of the year in class. Do you think he might like me? How can I get closer to him/ How can I start texting him for stuff other than asking what the HW was? Thanks sooo much! Smile

 

Hey girlie, I think it's too soon to tell. Just start up a text conversation with him. Say "hey, what's up?" And see where things go. It's a good way to see if he's interested and get to know each other better. 


Lauren T.

by camilavdu on 12/5/2012 5:27:08 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD I finally got my GL magazine but i got the wrong issue. I got the old Oct/Nov issue instead of the new Dec/Jan issue. HELP!!

 

Hey girlie, the new GL issue might be on its way to you. If you still don't have the new issue in the next week or two send an email to subscriptions@girlslife.com to ask about your issue. 


Lauren T.

by Sparksfly on 12/5/2012 4:58:40 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod
So I really like this guy, and we've been dating for about a month now. My parents don't know about him but he's really nice so I'd like them to meet him and ask permission to date him. Problem is I'm not super close to my mom or dad, so how do I bring up the subject? Oh and as far as they know...this is my first boyfriend...

 

Hey girlie, try to work him into conversation normally. If one of your parents mentions something that he does or likes, it's a great time to mention it. Tell them that you really like him and you want them to meet him.  


Lauren T.

by glass-tears on 12/5/2012 4:24:14 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
PLZ Help me asap! I have a guy friend and he has asked me twice about who I like. He asked me again yesterday. And he asks me who I like everytime I see him.The thing is that I like him. He told me that his crush is short and wears glasses and is smart(which describes me). So my question is that do you think he likes me too? (But now he's saying that his crush is in is Spanish class, which I'm not. I think he's saying that because he doesn't know I like him.)Thanks in advance!

 

hey girl! I think it does sound like he likes you...if you're too nervous to tell him how you feel first, tell him you like a guy, and when you go to describe your crush, describe HIM just like he did for you. And even say "he's in my ____ class", using a real class that you two have together. If he likes you, he should totally get the hint!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by scamp24 on 12/5/2012 3:42:58 PM

 
 



♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! Join my club: Operation: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Our mission is to post anonymous notes in public places for other people to find. The point is that WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!!! In my club, we will have daily quotes that you can put on post- its to uplift girls. We also give advice on how you can make your day better, and everyone else’s day better! So please join our uplifting club so we can tell everyone that we are beautiful the way we are!

 

hey rockchik333! we love that you're pumped about your club, but we want to make sure the comment sections aren't spammed with advertisements. you're free to post these comments, but please try and refrain from posting them on every article. thanks!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by rockchik333 on 12/5/2012 2:35:08 PM

 
 



Mod mod
so there's this boy at my karate who I think likes me. He jokes around with my siblings and my mom. A few weeks ago he tickled my chin and smiled. Tomorrow shoild I do the same thing to him? I wanna show him that I like him, but I don't wanna tell him because the last time I told a guy how I felt, it was a major fail lol. I get really nervous that I'll say something stupid, and I wanna feel confident around him. Whenever he looks at me, I getall jumpy inside and I can't look him in the eyes with out feeling like I'm about to pass out lol. How do I stop that? Oh and also, is it ok to go for another guy at karate? The boy that I told him I liked him goes to our karate and they're really good friends.

 

hey girl! I think it's totally fine to go for this guy. You don't have to use the same tactic that he uses on you, just flirt with him to drop hints! Compliment him, touch his arm when you two talk, smile at him, laugh at his jokes, etc. Good luck!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by isabellec on 12/5/2012 12:38:13 PM

 
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