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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

Why you shouldn't rush to 'fess up to your crush

 
 
I told a guy I liked him after we’d spent an hour together at a soccer game, but he said he doesn’t want to go out. Shouldn’t you always tell a guy you like him before the chance slips away?

 

Dear Mini Date Blues,
Rather than rush to tell someone you like him, it’s wiser to keep getting to know him. Enjoy flirting, and slowly figure out how you feel about each other. This beats scaring the guy away before he’s even asked for your number. There’s time to get things going, so don’t pressure yourself or him. Too many teens think they’re supposed to grab a guy and race around the bases. But these same teens usually wind up in relationships that end too suddenly or never quite work out.
 
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com or like her Facebook page.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 1/2/2013 1:00:00 PM

POSTED IN , , , , , , ,

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23 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

MOD MOD MODMOD
So there is this boy who I have a crush on. I asked him to the school dance, but he said no. after that, he started being really nice to me and we became good friends. I have talked to fellow girls about it and they say we both are flirting all of the time. he is kind of shy, and so am i. his friends have asked if i like him, so it gets kind of embarrassing sometimes. He is always talking to me in math, sometimes saying hi in the halways, always asks me whats wrong when i am sad, aand is always smiling when we talk. What should i do? i am kind of shy when it comes to guys i like, and have been the victim of many feature-worthy love complications.Thanks a lot and sorry for being so long!

Hey girlie,

If he said no, he might not be ready for a relationship even if you're friends, but maybe he's changed his mind and likes you back if he's being flirty. Maybe you could ask him to dance with you at your next dance and see what he says or just keep spending time together as friends and see what happens!

Meghan D.

by cupcake_mutt13 on 2/22/2013 9:25:37 PM

 
 

MOD


While we encourage an open environment on Girlslife.com, some blogger babes may find your comment offensive or inappropriate. Please discontinue to ask or comment about this subject and talk to a parent, trusted friend or guidance counselor. Love and thanks! ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes


 

Meghan D.

by littlestarr22 on 2/2/2013 11:37:16 PM

 
 

There are times when you shouldnt let him slip away but its so easy to keep up with him and even start a relationship, even if it just friends, online. Dont spill your heart, just stay in touch using twitter or fb and try and get things going that way. Then you wont end up feeling embarrassed.

by fashionqn on 1/12/2013 4:17:59 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Valentines day is coming up soon and it
Makes me feel sad because I don't have
A boyfriend whenever I see couples or girls
My age who have boyfriends I feel
So sad I think I'm ready for a boyfriend
But I think I'll probably never have one
It would be so nice if I got a valentines card
But that prob won't happen :-(

 

Hey! I felt the exact same way you did when I was younger and you know what? it got better. I'm actually really glad now that I didn't have a bunch of insignificant bfs in middle school and high school. You'll meet someone really substantial when you're older. Good guys are worth the wait. You don't need a boyfriend to validate you. Read books, have fun, and get to know who YOU are before you worry about boys. I promise you will meet someone one day.  


Helen S.

by redvelvetluv on 1/10/2013 8:01:52 PM

 
 

MOD:
I have a crush on my closest guy friend and have for a long time. The other day my BFF told me that he's thinking about asking me out. Awesome right? Well the issue is that he's also thinking about asking out another one of my friends, and there's a 50/50 chance he'll choose either of us. I then found out today that he invited both me and my other friend he likes over to his house on the same day, just hours apart. I like him so much, but it seems like he's testing my friend and I to decide who he likes better. I really want to date him, but I also don't want to be played. Should I play his game? Or should I move on?

Hey girl,

If that's actually what he's doing, that definitely stinks, but since this is all based on rumors, maybe you should still give him a chance! You haven't actually heard from him that he wants to ask either of you out, so don't jump to conclusions about his intent in inviting you both over. If he does ask you out, great! If not, maybe you can still be friends either way. And if he's not sure who he likes, he might not be ready for a relationship right now anyway, so just see how he acts when you hang out to figure out whether he likes you!

Meghan D.

by iwantsomeonetoloveme on 1/7/2013 6:23:48 PM

 
 

What if this guy's your neighbor? And you've known him for years, but only as sorta-I-know-you friends? HELP!!!

by Skessler on 1/6/2013 7:05:58 PM

 
 

MOD!
i have a crush and i have band practice with him (which only consists of a few ppl)and i was wondering how i could take "advantage" of it (you know, flirting "advantage")sooo i guess im asking for flirt advice... and i have said my delimma before and was told that he could like me sooo idk if that changes the response or not... and i was wondering how i could ask to get his number. im not the kind of bold person like that so i need more of a sublte way! thanks! for all your help! Smile

Hey girl,

If you have band practice together, try starting a conversation with him afterward about band and then transition into talking about school and other stuff. If you get to know each other as friends, it won't be awkward to ask for his number since you will already know each other by then. Don't worry so much about being flirty, just remember to be yourself! Smile

Meghan D.

by music<3er on 1/5/2013 10:42:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Lets say my crush's name is Jon. Jon and I have been friends for about 9 months and we realy click. I think he likes me back. He is on the swim team so I went to his swim meet a few days ago with my friend. I waved at him and he waved back. The next day his and my friend asked me why I went and I said because I wanted to(he doesn't buy it). Now I feel like a stalker so I'm not going to another swim meet this year. Should I tell Jon I like him or am I scaring him away?

Hey girl,

If you're not sure if he likes you, there's no rush to tell him, but if you've been friends for that long and he waved to you, it doesn't sound like you're scaring him away, either! You could tell him you wanted to support him without telling him you like him--friends can support each other, too! And if you have something you do like dance or debate, maybe you could invite him to your event next time Smile

Meghan D.

by Quietfriend1415 on 1/5/2013 8:05:53 PM

 
 

Dear Carol,
Lets say my crush's name is Jon. Jon and I have been friends for about 9 months and we realy click. I think he likes me back. He is on the swim team so I went to his swim meet a few days ago with my friend. I waved at him and he waved back. The next day his and my friend asked me why I went and I said because I wanted to(he doesn't buy it). Now I feel like a stalker so I'm not going to another swim meet this year. Should I tell Jon I like him or am I scaring him away?

by Quietfriend1415 on 1/5/2013 7:59:03 PM

 
 

Dear Carol,
Lets say my crush's name is Jon. Jon and I have been friends for about 9 months and we realy click. I think he likes me back. He is on the swim team so I went to his swim meet a few days ago with my friend. I waved at him and he waved back. The next day his and my friend asked me why I went and I said because I wanted to(he doesn't buy it). Now I feel like a stalker so I'm not going to another swim meet this year. Should I tell Jon I like him or am I scaring him away?

by Quietfriend1415 on 1/5/2013 7:56:09 PM

 
 

Hi girls! Check out my channel! I can help you with guys, fashion, bff's and your natural beauty! Smile

by NaturalBeauty23 on 1/5/2013 7:20:18 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod i have a huge crush on a boy we used to hang out alot he even said he would beat up another boy for me one day then my friend told him i liked him at first he was still the same but then every one in sixth grade found out and they would tease us we started being more distant then my friend asked him if he liked me in front of me and he said he didnt know ive caught him staring at me alot his friends say he doesnt like me but one day i heard him saying he liked a girl who fit my description yesterday i heard his friend tease him about liking someone but one day i waved and smiled at him and he gave me a confused look and waved back i dont think he could like another girl because everyone thinks hes a nerd and he has no girlfriend he cant be shy because he hangsout with girls like he does with guys so my, questions, are why did he say he didnt know whether he liked me, why does
he stare at me, and what should i do since we barely talk anymore

 

hey! 1) He may not be ready to admit that he likes you or not 2)maybe he stares at you because he likes you Smile 3) just wait and see what happens! Smile


Helen S.

by Rain278 on 1/3/2013 7:12:11 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
i have a crush on this guy from church and he knows i like him. last month my step brother told him i wanted to go out with him behind my back then he said he wasnt ready for a new relationship because he has to focus on school so he can get into a good collage well now a month later he has a new girlfriend and i am furious what should i do i just like him so much and in a way it feels like he lied to my little brother Frown

 

Hey! You have to move on from this guy. I know it's hard, but just try to concentrate on other things for a while, like your friends or an activity you love. It's tough now but every day your life will bring you something new to learn about or help with or share with someone, and when you make the most of your days, the hurt will go away even sooner than you think. I hope this helps girl! Smile  


Helen S.

by kaitliegirl on 1/3/2013 6:09:14 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
This guy asked me out on New Year's Day through text. I talked to my parents and they said I could say yes so I did. I met him at a soccer game a few months back. He goes to a neighboring school. I am friends with some people at his school. And yesterday he got his iPod taken away which was the only form of talk we had, so I couldn't text him. I texted my friend who goes to his school to ask him if he knew when he was getting his iPod back. And my friend asked that but she also asked him if he asked me out yet. He said "no". Why would he say that? On New Year's Day when we were texting a lot he called me his girlfriend. Why wouldhe have told her he hasn't asked me out yet? Thanks

 

 

Hey Chica, a lot of things could be going on. Maybe he doesn't know where you stand, maybe he doesn't trust this girl. Sometimes there is a misconnection and  either you didn't understand him or he didn;t understand you. It's difficult to judge tone through a text. Once your able to see him again or talk, ask him whats up.

 

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by ljbdaisy on 1/3/2013 4:25:09 PM

 
 



MOD MOD!!
I keep posting this comment but it never shows up so I hope it does this time. My BFF has a crush on my BGF and she wants me to find out if he likes her back but how can I do that without straight up asking him? I need help ASAP!!

 

 

Hey Girl, that's a tough one. Try hinting at it, maybe dropping things like "omg, (enter bff name here) said the funniest joke today, did you think it was funny." or "I really liked her outfit, what about you?" Little things like that.

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by Glitter_Freak on 1/3/2013 3:50:07 PM

 
 

This guy asked me out on New Year's Day through text. I talked to my parents and they said I could say yes so I did. I met him at a soccer game a few months back. He goes to a neighboring school. I am friends with some people at his school. And yesterday he got his iPod taken away which was the only form of talk we had, so I couldn't text him. I texted my friend who goes to his school to ask him if he knew when he was getting his iPod back. And my friend asked that but she also asked him if he asked me out yet. He said "no". Why would he say that? On New Year's Day when we were texting a lot he called me his girlfriend. Why wouldhe have told her he hasn't asked me out yet? Thanks

by Ljbdaisy on 1/3/2013 11:50:21 AM

 
 



MODERATOR,
Tomorrow afternoon, Me and my brother are going to the movies with my crushes family. what should I wear? And what if I say something stupid? please help

 

 

Hey Chica, be yourself and it won't be a big deal if you say something silly. just laugh it off, it will show your confidence and guys love it when a girl can make fun of herself a little bit. The movies a re super casual so just throw on some jeans with a cute sweater and a zip up jacket. Then lightly accessorize- maybe add a bracelet and your fave pair of boots.

 

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by luvleylady13 on 1/3/2013 10:51:23 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
I want some resolutions for 2013. I don't want to sound overly-confident, but I'm happy with myself! Smile I want to become more flexible in my left leg (I dance). But I want something more than that to work up to. Help? Laughing

  

Hey girlie, you're absolutely not overly confident! It's great that you're happy with yourself. Resolutions that are too big are the ones most likely to fail. So just make some small goals for yourself. Like maybe you want to do better in a certain class or be more organized. You could have a resolution to read more this year or eat less of a snack that's not so good for you.


Lauren T.

by WinnieGirlie on 1/2/2013 8:25:03 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
The day after I left for winter break, I FB messaged the guy I like. I gave him my nuber wanting to see what he would do. After a bit of chatting, he gave me his number and the next day he textd me. We textd for about 6 days nonstop. I thought it was going really well, he was flirty and so was I. But then the day before new years eve, I asked if he had plans then suggested we hang out. He told me that he hangs with his family and when he has a girlfriend he will hang with her. So when I asked if he had a GF he said kinda. She lives in the state he just moved away from. I was really upset because the next morning he told me we could just be friends. I am wondering why he took so long to tell me about his GF and why he was acting flirty if he has a GF. I still like him even though today at school he ignored me. What do I do? I don't want to lose his friendship or potential romance!!!! Help!!!
Love,
HEart broken and confused Frown

 

Hey girlie, keep being friendly. Stay friends with him and maybe when he and his gf break up he'll see you as a potential gf. Just text him and ask what he's been up to. 


Lauren T.

by pepk6 on 1/2/2013 7:23:12 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I really like this boy. He is really nice, really funny, but he flirts with almost every girl.
I noticed he acts differently around me. We were partners for a project, and he told his friend he was trying to creep me out. Also, three times when I was standing in his way during cooking class, he put his hands on my shoulders and moved me (gently). When other people got in the way, he just asked them to move. Also, during classes he says my name, so I look over and he just smiles. He did this maybe fifteen times. Does he like me?

 

hey girl! well, you said he flirts with every girl, so it's hard to say. while he's sending positive signs, he may just be a player. try to become closer with him and be better friends before you decide if he likes you or not.

xoxo 


Katie L.

by HappySunshine on 1/2/2013 5:11:55 PM

 
 

haha after an hour of knowing him?!?! Or wait did you just mean after you spent an hour together? Ok well either way I applaud your courage and confidence girl!! Send some of that confident spirit my way! lol

by maggie183 on 1/2/2013 4:51:06 PM

 
 



MOD MOD!
My crush is my best guy friend and we are really close. Some people say he likes me, but I don't know. Should I tell him?

 

hey girl! If you feel confident about it, I say go for it. If you''re really unsure, try flirting and dropping hints to see what he does and give you clues. good luck!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by julybaby01 on 1/2/2013 4:48:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So today I decided to join a club with my friend so we could get a period to hang out with each other (this is only for wed). My other best friend asked people at lunch where I was. At the end of the day she waited for me but walked out without me and laughed and joked with the other girl. Then she told me that she had to go. My other bestfriend was there to. Im really upset now because she shouldn't have even waited for me if she was going to ditch me anyways. Do you think she was upset I didn't tell her bout me joining I would've told her but she wasn't there that morning. HELP!!!!!!!

 

hey girl! she may have been upset with you, but the only way you'll know for sure is by talking to her about it. communication is key! good luck. 


Katie L.

by zebranista<3 on 1/2/2013 3:40:00 PM

 
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