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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

Should you go for a guy your age or older?


 
Two boys asked me out, and I don’t know which one to go out with. One is 13 (like me), and he is nice and cares for me—but I don’t think he’s cute. The other says he loves me, and he is sooo cute and sweet—but he’s 18.

 

Dear Double Dudes,

Going out with a guy five years older than you is a big mistake at this stage of your life. But that doesn’t mean you have to go out with the other guy, either! Who says you have to pick one of these two dudes? The world is bursting with guys—over 3 billion, to be precise—so there’s no need to make snappy decisions. This is definitely not your last chance at romance. Sometimes, the getting-to-know-a-guy thing is more fun and less complicated than the going-out-with-a-guy thing. BTW, once you get to know the not-so-cute guy a little better, you might find him cuter (or not). Who knows?
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 1/16/2013 2:00:00 PM

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My friend has totally fallen for an older guy. In my opinion he is the bad boy type but then another friend said I was to harsh and isnt. She seems to have had her eye on him for awhile and has gotten what she wanted but its kind of her first romance and she is totally in love with him, I am not sure if he feels the same. How can I not come off jealous or judgmental about what she is doing and still be a good friend? I know its her life but I dont think she has thought this out.

Hey girlie,

That's a tough situation, because you're concerned for her but don't want to tell her what to do. I would encourage her to speak with a trusted adult such as a parent or other family member, guidance counselor, teacher or doctor about the specifics of her relationship (age difference, etc.) and how she is keeping herself safe. An adult will be able to help her understand her situation better and make sure the relationship is healthy! You could also suggest that he come with you and your friends when you go out together so that you could get to know him better, and hopefully you will see that he is being nice to your friend and treating her well! You could also talk to your own parent or another adult about the best way to talk to her.

Meghan D.

by fashionqn on 4/13/2013 11:29:52 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!
Okay so I have a big crush on my brother's best friend and drummer of his band. Whenever we're together, he shows signs of liking me but I'm not sure because he's 2 years older than me! How do I know if he likes me? Also, my brother knows I like him and he seems cool with it so I was thinking about asking him to tell his friend that I like him. Is that a good idea?

Hey girlie,

Check out this article for signs that he might like you: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2012/11/08/How-to-tell-if-he-likes-you-likes-you.aspx?cp=all . And you could have your brother tell him if you want, but if you're not sure if he likes you, there's no rush to do anything! You could always try to get to know him as friends or hang out with him and your brother, and then tell him yourself when you knew each other more. But it's really your decision!

Meghan D.

by kayla99 on 3/1/2013 10:57:42 PM

 
 

Oops I forgot to add. We're in a band together with his siblings and other friends and its getting really awkward in practices. Help

Dancer1414Smile

by dancer1414:) on 2/20/2013 4:06:26 PM

 
 



Okay I asked a friend to go with me to our winter formal. He turned me down so I asked the guy my mom told me likes me. I like him a little but more as an older brother or friend. He wouldn't leave me alone for long at the dance we spent about 15 minutes apart. I gave him a valentine's day card and my number. He texted me to ask if we could hang out over our break. I don't know if were going out. I have never had a decent romantic relationship with guys because I'm busy with schoolwork and barely have time for friends. Also if you have advice on how to start a strong relationship that would be helpful. None of my relationships have worked out and one of us has always ended in heart break. Help!!!
Dancer1414Smile

 

hey girl! first off, if you don't like the guy then don't go out with him. that's my biggest tip. why spend time worrying about a relationship that you don't necessarily want to be in? I know sometimes it's nice to just be in a relationship, but trust me, being single is better than leading this fella on. for any relationship, romantic or not, communication is key. make sure you talk to him about how you feel!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by dancer1414:) on 2/20/2013 4:04:39 PM

 
 

MOD MOD!
I'm band I have a major crush on my section leader. I can't look at him without blushing or looking away. The worse part is that my sister dated him for a couple weeks. I don't know what to do. Frown

Hey girlie,

If you have a crush on your sister's ex, I would definitely talk to her before making a move. She would probably be hurt if you did anything with him without talking to her, so it is better to be honest with her now than to have her find out later!

Meghan D.

by Trumpet7 on 2/11/2013 6:24:30 PM

 
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