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ADVICE | FAMILY

18 Comments | Add Yours

What to do when you 'n' your sibs are stuck like glue

 

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You love your siblings, really you do. But when they mirror your every move 24/7, it’s so tempting to just…I don’t know, tell ‘em to go hide while you count to a million (Note: Please don’t do that). When your mini-me’s are driving you bonkers, here’s how to feel the love again—and score a little you-time, too.

 

 

Be generous

Most younger brothers and sisters crave praise from their older siblings. When they deserve it, tell them how proud you are of their achievements, even if it’s just managing to tie their shoes or venture into the basement solo. Every little bit counts, and they’ll treasure it…and stop plaguing you on the off-chance you’ll find a kind word for them.

 

Encourage independence

They’re building a Barbie mansion out of Legos while you do your homework? High-five, kiddo! They’ve got a play date with a group of kids from their karate class? Woohoo—have them tell ya all about it when they get back. The more you happiness you show when your sibs branch out into activities that don’t include you, the happier they’ll be to keep doing those activities.

 

Make compromises

No really, when you said you were going to the mall with your besties, your 7-year-old sis was not in the picture. But hey, if she agrees to sit this one out, maybe you could go out for a totally grown-up hot chocolate date at Starbucks, just the two of you. How’s that for a sweet deal?

 

Tell M&D you need a li’l help

And when all else fails, get your parents in on the plan. Sure, you might be the oldest, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a kid, too, so Mom and Dad ought to be more than happy to give you a breather when you ask for it.

 

Phew! What’s your best sibling tip, sweeties?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 2/21/2013 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN sticky sibling sitches

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MOD MOD MOD
I have a serious problem, and its driving me mad! my older sister is the one who makes the money in the house, so basically, she thinks shes a queen and that she rules the world.. shes 10 years older than me, and shes always on my case. i do anything and shes off telling someone about it. last week i commented on a picture on facebook, and made a spelling mistake, and she completely flipped out about it and started telling me that im stupid and my comment was unnecessary!! and it wasnt her picture or anything! but i love my sister, and i hate being rude, so i try and smile and talk to her, but she just treats me terribly. now shes got a boyfriend, and she'll say anything to make him laugh, last time she called me a snob infront of him just to get a laugh, but it wasnt funny.... i really dont know what to do anymore, and i cant tell my mum, cos it doesnt help.. i've resulted to hurting my self now, and i know its not good, but i dont know what else to do.. please help.

 

 hey! i'm really sorry you're going through this hard time right now. Here are some things you can do to feel better, and stop hurting yourself.

1) Talk to someone. Please, I really urge you to find someone, anyone, to talk to about the fact that you've started to hurt yourself. It doesn't have to be a family member. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. Not only will talking to someone ease some of the mental stress, but hey will be able to help you find resources in your community that help deal with depression in healthy ways. Don't be ashamed. Everyone goes through similar situations, there is  nothing wrong with you, and there is nothing wrong with getting help. I know you can do it. Here are some online resources that may help you out: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

 2) Stand up for yourself. It is never rude to tell someone who's mistreating you in any way to back off, and stop it. They are being rude. not you. It's important to establish this dynamic with your sister because if she learns that she can just say whatever she wants to you, it sounds like she will. Remain calm, but be clear that it's not ok for her to bully you. Tell her, "stop treating me like this, you know better than that."

3) Your sister loves you, no matter how much of a jerk she's being, and the fact that she's earning money for your family at such a young age may be part of why she's acting out. Also, sometimes people go to silly lengths to get attention from boys. She will get over this phase eventually and will probably regret that she was acting so dumb, trust me. It's important for you to keep these things in mind, because instead of building resentment toward her, now may be the time she needs your support more than ever, even if she won't ask you for it. It sounds to me like you're already doing a great job of this. You just need to balance kindness and patience toward her with letting her know that she can't bully you. This is extremely difficult, and it will be tempting to just lose your temper at her. If you are able to avoid that, you two will have a healthy relationship where you deal with your conflicts in mature ways. 


Helen S.

report

by Eilz001 on 2/23/2013 6:37:12 AM

 
 


Hey! I am so sorry, that happened to you. I can't even imagine how hard that must be, or how much courage it takes for you to just go about your normal life with that weighing you down. I'm just very proud of you for being you, and carrying on, and I want you to know that you don't have to go through this alone. It takes an enormous amount of courage to talk about something like this with someone, but ultimately that is how to conquer fear. Don't let it paralyze you, please find someone you trust and speak out. Doesn't have to be a doctor if you're uncomfortable with that. Your health concern is another factor. You need to be able to talk to a doctor about that, maybe a female doctor at a clinic or something if that makes you more comfortable. But I understand why you don't want to, so the first step is to talk about what happened. It is never ever too late. http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx


Helen S.

report

by StrawberryPatchKid on 2/23/2013 1:46:29 AM

 
 

mod mod mod


 Hey girlie,


Maybe you could make a list of things you like about yourself and review it when you're feeling down. I would also talk to a trusted adult like a guidance counselor or family member or doctor about what you're going through, and check out this article for additional help: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

report

by StrawberryPatchKid on 2/22/2013 10:36:32 PM

 
 

mod mod mod





Hey girlie,


While we encourage an open environment on Girlslife.com, some blogger babes may find your comment offensive or inappropriate. Please discontinue to ask or comment about this subject and talk to a parent, trusted friend or guidance counselor. Love and thanks! ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes

 

Meghan D.

report

by StrawberryPatchKid on 2/22/2013 10:35:34 PM

 
 

mod mod mod


Hey girlie,

Maybe you could talk to your parents about seeing a counselor or other professional--everything you talk to them about is confidential, and they can help you with everything you're going through! Check out this article for more resources and tips: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

report

by StrawberryPatchKid on 2/22/2013 10:34:40 PM

 
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