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3 times it's OK to tell your bestie's secret


 
You heart your BFF and would do anything to protect her. When she tells you a secret, you obvs have to keep it. Her new crush’s name is for your ears only and you’ll never spill. But is there ever a time you should break girl code? We’ll tell you why sometimes speaking up is more important than keeping a sacred bond.

“Sometimes I cut myself...”
If your BFF is harming herself, it is important to tell an adult. Even if she says she has it under control, cutting is often a deeper issue than you think. Desiring pain can be caused by depressing or serious low self-esteem. It can also lead to suicide. Before you speak up, encourage your gal pal to talk to her ‘rents about getting a therapist. If she has an adult she can talk to, there is no need to take action. As long as an adult is aware of the situation, her secret is safe with you! However, if she refuses to tell her ‘rents, it is your responsibility to tell an adult. Speak with the school counselor or someone you can trust. She may hate you at first, but, once she gets help, she’ll be happy she told you the secret. Her safety is more important than girl code.

“My boyfriend hit me...”
You know how much your BFF hearts the bad boys, but when is she in danger? Dating shy guys in leather jackets is your gal pal’s fave hobby. When she tells you about her new BF’s strange behavior, you can’t help but wonder if he’s too bad... In private, she tells you that he once hit her. She promises it was a one time thing and begs you not to tell a soul. Abusive relationships are dangerous and she must end things with him immediately. Tell her that you will not allow her to put herself in danger over some scary dud. Before she does anything, she must tell her parents. Breaking up with an abuser can set him off and she’ll feel safer with her parents by her side. If she refuses to end things with him, you have to call her ‘rents. Trust us, abusive relationships never end in happily ever after. Comfort her by saying, “It is for your own safety and I will be by your side every step of the way.”
 
“I hate my body...”
Many girls are uncomfortable in their own skin, but when does it become dangerous? When your BFF tells you that she stopped eating as much or started making herself throw up after meals, you need to take action. Eating disorders are deadly and your BFF’s life is in danger. Tell her to speak to her mom or a guidance counselor and make her feel more comfortable by offering to come along. If she’s too scared, tell someone by yourself. She may want to keep this a secret, but anorexia and bulimia are dangerous diseases. Promise her that it is not her fault she is suffering with this and there are people who can help her.

There are many other scenarios that may endanger your BFF. Keep in mind, anything that seriously harms a friend physically or emotionally should be shared with an adult. If you can’t convince her to consult her ‘rents, speak with someone you both trust. Remind her that you love and care about her. Once she gets help, your gal pal will be grateful that she told you her secrets, even if she doesn’t admit it.
 
 

BY YAEL FRISCHLING ON 4/9/2013 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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