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I'm pretty much friendless--help!

 


I have been having feelings for girls for a long time and I’m starting to think I’m a lesbian. A few months ago at school, I made a huge mistake. I told my friends what I was feeling. Other kids overheard and now my entire grade knows and I’m constantly made fun of. I’ve talked to my parents but they just say to deny and say that I’m straight, but I feel bad when I do that. How can I fix this disaster?

 

Dear Pretty Much Friendless,

I am sorry that your classmates are acting so extraordinarily lame! When people go public with private feelings, it’s not always pretty, especially when peers are young and immature. (That’s one reason I encourage girls not to rush to be open about their sexuality. The other reason is that is it really the whole grade’s business?) All this will be much easier soon and will be a non-issue in college. For now, lying or pretending to have an out-of-state BF doesn’t seem right, and starting fresh elsewhere probably isn’t an option. What to do? Is there a way that you can make yourself known for something else? For being an athlete or actor or scientist or artist or having a cool summer job? After all, your budding sexuality is only one piece of your rich and complex personality. Also, instead of trying to define yourself aloud, keep getting comfortable with who you are, with your own multifaceted self. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable others will be around you. In short, hang in there and find a worthy friend, girl or guy. As for the insensitive goons, they will grow up someday and probably look back in shame about their behavior.

 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 7/1/2013 12:00:00 AM

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