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How to end a spat in a snap


One second, you're laughing with your buds. The next, they're shooting you dirty looks and giving you the cold shoulder. What'd you say? Oh, nothing much--just something you really, well, shouldn't have...like that offhand comment about how Carly's boyfriend is kind of a jerk, or how Amber's diorama looked like a kindergartener painted it. Sure, you should have bitten your tongue, and as soon as we create a time machine, we'll send it your way. But 'til that fateful day, here's how to handle those situations where you totally put your foot in your mouth.

 

First thing's first: Apologize

And make it a sincere, "OMG, I can't believe I just said that, I am such an idiot" one. Because at this particular moment in time, you kind of are. Sure, Carly's BF is a jerk and everyone knows it. But that doesn't mean the best way to point it out is to bluntly state your opinion over cafeteria burgers. There's a time and a place and a way to assert yourself.

 

Up next? Explain

Yeah, you meant the diorama looks like kid stuff. But you need to explain away your comment, anyway. Take a moment to think of a few sentences that are going to A. sound like it's the truth, 'cause it is, and B. dig you out of the hole rather than deeper in it. Think: "Ugh, Amber, that came out wrong. I meant the colors you used--they're so bright and fresh. It's like you saw the scene like a kid would and used the whole rainbow."

 

Last but not least, say something later, privately

You might forget about your slip-of-the-tongue before you pop open that pudding lid, but you can bet your bud won't. Pull her aside later that day and tell her that you can't stop thinking about what you said, and you are so sorry if it hurt her feelings. Explain that you would never say something to make her upset, and that the way the words came out are not the way you meant them. She'll be grateful that you're doing your best to make the situation right. While she might not be ready to forgive ya just yet (bring on the baked goods, babe!), you can bet the whole cold shoulder deal will be a thing of the past.

 

 

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BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 9/7/2013 4:16:00 PM

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