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Are you a mean girl? Time for a makeover!


Sometimes I say mean and hurtful things without meaning it to be hurtful. Some people take it the wrong way and call me mean and arrogant. I just thought these people were jealous of me, but I realized two days ago that what they were saying was true. Now no one likes me and snicker whenever I walk by. What should I do?

Hey girl, I’m way sorry to hear about your sitch. When dealing with people, there’s always a certain amount of unpredictability: you can control what you say but not how people react to it. The good news though is that a reputation gone bad doesn’t have to stay bad forever. By apologizing to those you’ve hurt in the past and focusing on a kinder future, you’ll be one step closer to being that girl everyone loves.


Conversation 101
First thing’s first, it’s time to give your conversation a makeover. Before you say something that has even the slightest, tiniest, itsy-bitsiest chance of being taken the wrong way, step back. Do you have to say it or is there something else you can talk about? Is there a safer way to phrase something? Always review your words before you say them because once you do say them, there’s no taking them back.

If you take a second to think over your response, you’ll be able to find a way to express what you want to say that doesn’t have to hurt other people. That said, in general, it’s better to not to say anything at all rather than say something catty about another person. Keep your words positive and remember what comes around goes and around. While your convos may not be as newsworthy or juicy, the way others see you will be a whole lot sweeter.
 
 
It’s Never Too Late to Apologize
Now that you’ve cleaned up your conversation, it’s time to clean up those strained relations. Apologize to the people you’ve hurt in the past, especially your close friends. Explain you didn’t mean to hurt them and you’re doing your best to watch what you say. Ask them to help you as you make the transition. Sometimes it can help to have a friend nudge you when you’re about to say something potentially offending.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

Remember in the end it’s what you do that will stand out much more than what you say. While people may be snickering now, just ignore them and don’t let them bring you down. These people may think you’re mean but the cool thing is you can show them you’re not through the things you do.

Spread good vibes, not bad ones by making a point to compliment the people around you. See a girl in a cute outfit you know? Tell her she looks fab even if you don’t talk to her much in class! Kind words like that can make her day and shed some light on your sweet side. And after a while? The kind words will catch up to you, and the only gossip people will be spreading, is what a fantastic, girl-gone-good you are. Hang in there, girl, and don’t lose faith in the power of change and kindness.
 
 
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BY ALYSSA BAILEY ON 2/18/2014 12:00:00 AM

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