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The Cheat Sheet
Think your boyfriend might be doing you wrong? Here’s the smart girls’ guide to exposing his cheating heart.
Hah, cheating. Why do some guys do it? Even the cheaters often can’t explain why they choose to deceive someone they care about. While you might never understand it, you can at least learn how to recognize whether or not your guy is cutting out on you. We’d never want you to turn all paranoid-stalker, and don’t you dare invade his privacy or get all up in his biz. But if you keep your peepers open, you can pick up on those subtle clues that give away…Da Playa.
Suspicious sitch
You’re at Taco Bell with your boy when his cell rings. Instead of taking the call, he shuts off the ringer and continues to shove Crunchy Gorditas into his face.
Cut him loose
If you’ve noticed a lot of weirdness when it comes to your guys’ relationship to his cell phone, keep your antennae up. Be especially tuned in if he’s recently assigned specific ring tones to people and ignores one in particular whenever you’re in his air space. If he abruptly ends conversations when you’re around, or leaves the room every time he takes or makes a call…he could be cheating. Either that or he’s planning your big surprise birthday bash.
Cut him slack
Erratic phone behavior can be a sure sign your guy has someone else on the side, but don’t be so quick to make accusations. If he glances at his caller ID and says, “Oh, it’s just Jason calling to remind me about practice,” it probably is. Most guys don’t like to gab on the phone and, sometimes, nothing is going to come between a guy and his Gordita.
Suspicious sitch
You and your boyfriend used to spend all kindsa time together. Now, all of a sudden, it seems he wants to hang with you a lot less. He even ditched your weekly dinner-and-a-flick last Friday to go out with his friends. What’s up with that?
Cut him loose
Take this GL mini-quiz: 1) Is he A: full-on standing you up or B: giving you plenty of notice so you can make plans of your own? 2) Has he A: fallen into a regular habit of dissing, or B: just changed up the routine and you still see him once or twice a week? 3) Does he A: for the most part, seem to be MIA (that’s Missing In Action), or B: still call, IM, e-mail and otherwise stay connected?
Scoring: If you answered Mostly A’s, it’s a good shot your sweetie is stepping out…or (gulp) he’s not that into you and doesn’t deserve you anyway, so there. Mostly B’s? Read on.…
Cut him slack
Your guy might need some space, and that’s not only normal—it’s healthy. As long as he’s keeping in contact and being respectful, let him have his breathing room. Spending time basking in his comic book collection or shooting hoops with his pals is not cheating. So savor your individuality. It’s so much more attractive than being cling-on girl.
Suspicious sitch
You and your guy are totally spending all the time in the world together. But there’s trouble in paradise—as in, things aren’t exactly love-is-bliss. It just doesn’t seem so much like a pleasure cruise anymore.
Cut him loose
Does dealing with your dude feel like work? He constantly picks fights. Every little thing you do or say seems to irritate him. And what happened to all those cool compliments he used to lay on so thick? It could be your guy is distancing himself from you and, if it seems to be more deliberate than subconscious, he might be trying to push things to the breakup point. To free himself up for somebody else? Perhaps.
Cut him slack
Dating, however, is a tough nut to crack. It’s inevitable that differences will arise throughout the course of a relationship. Even if he’s shoving you away on purpose, it could just be that he needs his aforementioned space. Some guys freak out when they suddenly find themselves in official BF-GF status. Instead of totally spending all the time in the world together, see each other in smaller doses. A little distance can make the heart grow fonder.
Suspicious sitch
It’s the night of the big holiday dance, and your BF strays no more than four feet from the front entrance the whole night. He won’t even dance with you. You feel like you’re on a date with a total loser.
Cut him loose
Oh, it is so obvious this guy is avoiding Jennifer on the other side of the gym. Even though he’s keeping a watchful eye on her, you can tell he does not want to run into her—not right now. And last weekend when you guys were talking to her at the football game, things were way weird and awkward with those two. Thing is, if you sense something is up…something is probably up. Could be time for The Dump.
Cut him slack
On the other hand, maybe this guy’s only sin is that he doesn’t know how to dance. He might not want to admit that to you—he’d sooner ’fess up to being with Jennifer—but the not-so-brutal truth could be that he’s embarrassed to move into the crowd because he’s afraid he’ll end up on the dance floor. Offer to give him a private lesson so you two can get your groove on at the next dance. And if Jennifer tries to cut in, see above paragraph.
Suspicious sitch
It’s Sunday afternoon, and he tells you he’s heading over to his buddy’s house to play video games. Thing is, he’s all dressed up and smelling like Axe (ew). And is that hair gel???
Cut him loose
A dude who, outta the blue, suddenly cares about his appearance might very well be trying to impress someone special. Are you that special someone? If this boy never decks out for you and, in fact, rarely even remembers to wear deodorant…well, do we need to spell it out for you?
Cut him slack
Before coming to a snap conclusion, however, consider the possibility that he may be in the beginning stages of (gasp!) maturity. It is possible that he’s taken a sudden interest in his hygiene because he’s outgrowing his dirt-ridden, sweat-stained, worm-eating boyhood. As long as his dressing-to-the-nines isn’t selectively timed, embrace his new well-groomed ways. Tell him how hot he looks—then give him a gift of CK One for the holidays and hope he nixes the Axe.
-Kelly White
POSTED IN Dating, boyfriend Q & A, meanie
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