My girl is mean to me when we're in a group...

My so called “BFF" has been acting REALLY mean to me. I've been friends with her all my life, and she's really fun. When we are by ourselves she isn't mean at all. It's when we get together with our other pals that she starts acting nasty. She acts like an angel for her parents, but when they aren't around she just starts being all mean.

She also needs all the attention at all times. I'm usually OK with that because I don't crave attention like she does. I've talked to my mom about it and she says I should just end it with her, but I don't know if I can! We've been really close for a long time!


Please help!


Hey girl,

Babes, I feel for you. I was in your sitch a few months ago. My BFF would be perfect on our outings around the town…but when a huge group of people came around? Um, not so much. She would make a million jokes just to get everyone laugh AT me. Plus she would spill all my secrets to everyone just to make herself look like a saint. Believe me, I was so mad. I wanted to cut her out of my life but I often remembered all the special times we shared.


So, I totally hear ya on this one, sistah. It REALLY hurts to have a friend who treats you that way. A li’l piece of info that might make you feel better about this? Chicas who constantly crave attention like that are never secure with themselves and seek acceptance from everyone. Congrats to you for being confident enough for not stoopin’ to this always-in-the-spotlight sistah’s level. You are content with being who you are and you know that you deserve respect.


Here’s how I nixed the prob with my pal. I told her we should meet for bubble tea at a local tea house (you guys can chill at your house or at the park) and I used,  "I feel" statements to express how I felt about being treated that way. She absolutely had no idea that I felt this way and apologized a lot. Maybe your friend has no clue that what she is doing to you is hurtful. I can see why your mom wants you to end the friendship because she doesn't like to see you hurt. So, the ball is in your court babe. You can save this friendship by taking a chance on it or you can cut her off if you don't think it can last any longer.


I know that if I never told my own friend how I felt, I wouldn't have been able to have save our friendship. I'm still very cool with my chica and she never bashed me in front of our gurlies ever again. We're still goin’ strong and if you take a chance on your friend, you guys can reach that point of mutual respect as well. Best of luck to you!


<3 Sherryn D.

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3/25/2009 7:00:00 AM
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