A Fighting Family


I feel so invisible! My mom gets mad at me for no reason and my dad is always yelling at me! What makes it worse is that my dad is bipolar and has some anger issues. They don't yell at my little nine-year-old sister as much as they do me. I just don't know what to do anymore...help!

Hey girl, that's really rough. You have to tell your 'rents how you're feeling. Don't keep it all bottled up! I know it's a touchy subject, especially since your dad has a problem but you gotta speak up.

You may want to confront just one parent or both. Either way it's important to GENTLY let them know how you feel.  I used to bothered by how sad my dad's remarks and insults made me feel. One day I wrote him a kind letter telling him how much I loved him but how his harsh words hurt me.  This changed our relationship forever; in fact, I found out that he did not even know how horrible he made me feel.

Remember that parents get stressed out, too, and it's especially tough since your dad has a serious illness. Your mom might not even be mad at you, she might be steaming because she's under so much pressure. So, let her understand that you know she's stressed but that you wanna work with her so you both can feel better.  Your 'rents may not even realize how this is impacting you!

Why are you bearing the brunt of the anger? Sometimes, parents are more delicate with the younger child so don't take this too personally.  Her age alone is her defense and your 'rents expect you to be more understanding of their situation because you are a little more mature.

They need your love, honesty and support right now and you should provide that. But, YOU need an OUTLET. Find a way to get your own frustrations out...whether it's at soccer practice, writing in a journal or letting it out to your BFF. You may also want to find an adult, counselor or trusted teacher that you can talk to.  An outsider may see something that you don't and may help you find a solution.

-Chardae

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3/28/2009 7:00:00 AM
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