My Dad Might Die

A few weeks before Christmas my dad was checked into the hospital. He was diagnosed with bone cancer. The doctor said then that if he doesn't get a bone marrow transplant within nine months he is going to die.

Before he can even start looking for a donor for the bone marrow, my dad has to go to chemo-therapy to put the cancer into remission. It makes him really aggravated and edgy. If I say/do one thing wrong he gets really mad and yells at me. I think I've become depressed. I don't like spending time with people a lot and I like to be on my own. I feel miserable all the time and don't want to have to do anything.

If my father passes, I will have to move to live with my mother one state away. I don't want to move in with my mother but I don't have a choice. I don't know how to accept that my father is dying, and I don't know what to do to stop feeling this way. Please help me.

First of I want to say I wish the best for both you and your dad. You have every right to want to spend some time alone. It's natural to feel sad and depressed. I know this must be tough.

As for your dad's mood, you gotta remember that he's under serious pressure. He's dealing with a lot of emotions AND with physical pain, so of course he's going to be edgy right now.  Be understanding of him – even if he is fussy, just shower him with love.

Do things that will be uplifting for the both of you. Spend some time together at the park, ask him to join you at a local arcade, put a funny movie on, anything that'll banish the blues. If he doesn’t have the energy you should do something both simple and memorable. Make him a scrapbook, home video, or even his favorite dessert. This will give you a chance to be responsible and helpful, while hopefully making your dad feel better.  You can even include family and friends. Tell them that you need really good photos or video footage to complete a project that you are working on for your dad. Once it’s finished invite a few of his loved ones over to join you and your dad before viewing your fantastic creation.

When my grandfather announced that he had cancer when I was eleven this brought the whole family down because he was the peacemaker. But, my mom stayed strong. She showed courage. Though she cried for a few days she became very helpful after the first week. She did things around the house to soften his workload. She took him with her to the beach, and she even found some of his favorite songs to sing with him. I’m not saying that a few songs will make everything better, but you have to stay strong and supportive.

And for those days that you are really feeling sad call up a friend to talk to.  Try getting advice from your mom as well since she can probably give you some some pointers on how to handle the situation.  The school counselor can come in handy as well. And remember there is still hope for your dad. Try to stay positive and don't focus too much on the "what ifs." Take it one day at a time and just be there for your dad.

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by Chardae | 2/1/2016