Second Best...to a Stranger!


This year my family got an exchange student. I really like her a lot and I'm going to miss her so much when she leaves but my parents treat me like a slave while she never has to lift a finger.


She's allowed to be with friends more often and she has more freedom, while I am watched like a hawk. If she gets a bad grade it's OK but if I do, then I'm grounded. It's making me have low self-esteem and I've started hurting myself. Every time I try to tell them how I feel they yell at me and I just end up crying and it makes me feel worse. What should I do?


-Second Choice


Aw honey, being second best is never fun, especially when that person isn’t even in your family. It’s totally not fair that your ‘rents are favoring the exchange student, but it’s completely possible they don’t even realize what they’re doing. Sometimes parents can be so dense!


Since talking to your parents doesn’t seem to be working, try writing out your feelings in a letter and giving it to them. Tell them you really like the exchange student and you consider her a friend, but you don’t like the way they treat her like a princess.


Tell the 'rents that you realize they're treating her specially since they want her to have a great experience, but the special treatment has gone too far. Explain that the spotlight on her makes you feel bad about yourself and sad, too. I’m sure they’ve never meant to hurt you and they probably don’t even realize what they’re doing, but that doesn’t make it right.


In the mean time, you really need to stop hurting yourself. Hon, hurting yourself is so not worth it. It’s totally fine if you don’t want talk to your friends about what you’re going through, but it may help to talk to girls who are going through the same thing. You can also try letting all your negative emotions go in more positive ways – let it out at lax practice, pour all your pent-up energy into the school's production of Grease or if you're super angry just go for a run or walk and BREATHE to calm yourself down and cut the stress.


Check out the Tough Stuff section HERE for more info. If you can't stop hurting yourself, you may want to see a guidance counselor or doc about this issue. Whenever you feel alone, come here and vent on our blog. We won’t judge and there are tons of girls here willing to help. You’re not alone!


Lots of love,
L’Oreal

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POSTED IN ,

4/18/2009 7:00:00 AM
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