Technological true love?

My mom and I have always been very close. I started going out with this guy that I haven't met yet. I know what you're thinking, but it's a boy that my best friend is friends with. 


We email, text, and IM, everything but we've never actually met in person. I want to tell my mom so that I can go out and meet him without having to lie to her, but I don't know what my mom will do.


I am afraid that she will make me break up with him. What should I do? 


-Jamie B.

Hey chica, 

Hmm...this is super serious. Although you have been texting, IMing and emailing this person, the fact that you haven't met him makes a big difference. You should not only think about how to face your mom, but also the relationship you are in because this guy might be different in person than who he says he is.


Let's talk about your mom first. You probably heard this before, but secrets are really hard to keep, especially from your very own mama. So, as you want to do, you should tell your mom about this guy. However, you want to think carefully how you want to approach her and in what order you're going to explain yourself. 


For example, don't just tell your mom that you've been dating a guy you've never met before. That might be a bit risky. You not only want to, but also should let her know that you didn't randomly meet a guy online. Make it clear that he is a friend of your best friend. This will ensure her that this guy isn't some weird stalker or a fake person.


From there, explain that you've developed an interest in this person, but would like to meet him in person in order to truly get to know him more. Again, you don't want to say anything that will shock your mother or even anger her. 


Lastly, because this is a non-traditional way of dating someone, you want to make sure your mom feels safe about the relationship you've started. If it helps, suggest that your mom meet him as well. You might be thinking that it's embarrassing that your BF meets your mom the first time you meet him, but this might be the only way that your mom will feel safe about this whole situation. Ask that your BF come over to your house to meet your mom and you can hang out in your house the first time around so that she's comfortable with it.


It's hard to tell how well your mom will take this in depending on her values and personality, but if you really feel a connection with this guy, it'll be worth the try. 


-Jeannie L. 

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6/27/2009 7:00:00 AM
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