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She's a friend-stealer!
I have a friend (a really close friend), but she always tries to steal my friends. If she sees me with one of my BFFs you can actually see the jealousy on her face.
Every school year she tries to claim a girl as her new friend, but it never works out. And whenever she's with one of my BFFs it's like she tries to make me jealous—rubbing in their phone conversations or letting me know she went over her house. I know these people don't really like her but she doesn't know that.
Also, this "friend" will hate one of my friends one month and the next month be all, "You're one of my best friends!" I'm sick and tired of all this friend-stealing and confronting her won't work. How can I let my friends know what she's doing without sounding insane? And how can I stop this madness before she takes away my ultimate best friend?'
-Depressed & Lost Friend
Dear D&LF,
I can totally see how irritating this situation must be for you. But if everything that you say is true, why are you worried about losing your best friends? Besides, no one can "steal" anybody away, your friends have minds of their own and won't easily be swayed by just anybody. If your friends really don't like her and they're closer to you, then just have faith in your solid relationships with them.
As for this "friend" of yours: Just ignore her petty ways. Once you stop reacting to her immature actions, she'll start to stop. By getting angry and bothered, you're actually just showing her that you are jealous and provoking her to keep at it. The next time she goes on about how she hung out with one of your friends, just say a simple, "That's cool" and walk away.
If you really feel like you have to give your friends a heads up about this whole dealio, have a light-hearted chat with them after school. Don't give in to all of your built up resentment OR go nuts on the haterade. That might make 'em think that you really ARE jealous or in your words "insane". Just something like, "Don't you think so and so is being a little to obsessive and clingy?" should do the trick.
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