I have a new BF. Our relationship is good, except he says he doesn’t “want to be one of those inseparable couples.” We have a great time talking together on the phone and e-mailing, but we never really spend time together.

How can I change his mind?

I hate to say this, but you might want to look for a new (and more attentive) boyfriend. If he’s dating you, he should want to hang out with you. Right? Talking on the phone and e-mailing don’t exactly qualify as spending quality time together. It’s OK if he wants some space, but it sounds like he has plenty of breathing room and still doesn’t make time to be with you—and that’s not cool.

Did you agree with him at first that you didn’t want to be an “inseparable couple,” but now your feelings have evolved? If so, explain to your boyfriend that you have had a change of heart and would like to do more things together—suggest bowling, a movie, a picnic in the park. Who knows? He might feel the same way. Maybe he’s been protecting himself by keeping his distance.

If you get the impression he doesn’t want to make any alterations in the relationship, backtrack and try being his friend. If that doesn’t fly, you might be happier going solo!

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12/31/2009 7:00:00 AM