All my friends take dance. I've done it a couple of times, but it's inconvenient for me. I have to pay for it myself and can never get a ride there. I feel left out because they're obsessed and go at least four or five times a week. They always talk about it and know the names of every student and instructor there.

They don’t try to leave me out and they are always showing me the new dances they learned. But, I feel like I just sit awkwardly on the side.  I like dance, but I don't love it and it's basically their lives. They're my best friends and I could never leave them or anything, I just feel left out.

Just because your BFFs love dance doesn’t mean you have to. When I was in middle school, all of my friends were really into gymnastics and since I'm the most uncoordinated person ever, I was never very good. I just stopped trying and did stuff that I actually liked to do, but I did feel left out for a bit. I eventually started telling them about my hobbies and they talked to me about gymnastics. It was a great balance and I never felt left out after that.

Keep on respecting your BFFs and their love of dance. It doesn’t mean you have to get into dance yourself (especially if you don’t have the money. Please don’t go broke over something you're totally not into!) Go with them every now and then if you can, and have them teach you the moves, but don't feel like you have to go to every class if you don't really like it.

If dance isn’t your cup of tea, find something that is. It could be pottery, sewing, photography, kickboxing, karate, playing chess, designing clothes, gardening, cooking, or baking. Whatever it is, do it and be proud of it. This is also a great way to make another great group of gals who have interests outside of dance. Remember that saying, "Make new friends but keep the old?" That's what you'll be up to!

Once you’ve found something you love, share it with your chicas. Let them know it’s important to you and invite them to come do it with you every now and then. You all can share in new experiences and become closer. By showing your girls something that you love, your friends will feel included in your life and that'll bring your group much closer together.

You won’t feel so left out when you are doing something you love, too. Remember, everyone is an individual and everyone has their own interests. BFF’s don’t need to share everything (just jewelry and shirts!) and that’s what makes gal relationships so special!

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12/23/2009 7:00:00 AM