So, I think I love this guy at my school. My friends say I should stop crushing on him. They think it’s wrong.

This guy is like 16 years older than me...he’s my science teacher. He’s the only one of my teachers I can be totally honest with. What do you think I should do? Am I really in love with him? Am I going overboard for crushing on him?

Sounds like you’re in a serious stich! Your friends are giving you good advice, but you’re still not sure if crushing your teacher is actually the WRONG thing to do, since he’s someone you really trust and admire, too. It’s totally OK to think that Teach is a cutie, but your pals have some good points. It’s not a good idea to have romantic feelings for a teacher, no matter how old they are.

I think you’ll like my rule of thumb—it’s what I like to call “careful crushing.” This is when you think someone is super-cool or a major hottie but keep your eyes peeled for other guys to help distract you from continuing to fall deeper for a forbidden fella.

I would hate to see you fall head over heels for your teacher and get hurt when you realize that he’s not crushing back. But, your friends are probably right—liking a teacher is bound to be a heartbreaker! Your buddies are just looking out for your best interest. That said there's one super-serious thing to remember: If you think your prof is putting the moves on you and you feel uncomfortable about it, PLEASE tell a trusted adult ASAP. It's not right (and not to mention it's totally illegal!) to have a relationship with your teacher.

Yeah, maybe your teacher makes you feel like he's giving you special attention when he smiles or compliments your good work, but you gotta learn that it's not really love. He’s just being a really great teacher and helping you to learn and to grow in his class. That’s why he's probably so attentive.

Sometimes, we can feel like we’re in love without receiving the same response from the person we’re in love with. It’s easy to confuse or mistake a teacher’s special attention with more romantic feelings. But, babe, you gotta learn that it's going nowhere.

Teachers, like your closest gal pals, can have a great impact on your life. I still talk to some of my favorite teachers, and you probably will after graduating from high school, too! Just because Teach isn’t worth the crush doesn’t mean he isn’t worth the mentorship.

Tell your BFFs about my rule of careful crushing. That way, they’ll call you out if they see you cruising your love boat into rocky water again. Ask your besties to hook you up with a new cutie at school! Think about what you like about your teacher. Is he a good listener? Has he got hilarious jokes? Look for a fella more your age with those same qualities. Good luck, girl!

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12/25/2009 7:00:00 AM