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New Year, New...Friends?!
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? You may sing the lyrics during New Year’s, but when looking back at the past year of friendships—past boyfriends, BFFs and the friends with you now—it can be hard to tell what people are worth keeping for the new year and which ones are worth leaving with the old.
But before that ball comes down, think it through! GL’s got seven types of friends and the say on whether these shaky friendships should be renewed.
The Patient
You love your bud, but sometimes she treats you like a problem hotline. Whether it’s boys, clothes or fam trouble, this sistah's always relying on you to be her own personal Dear Carol. But when you ask your own Qs, she’s anything but a helping hand...
Keep this bud ... if she went through a tough year. Maybe her ‘rents got divorced or she barely survived a nasty break-up. Whatever the sitch, your friend needed you for a good reason. This year, focus on helping her get through the drama so it’ll be a brighter future for both of you.
Lose this sistah ... if she doesn’t seem to care about you. If this girl isn’t bringing anything but stress and worry into your life, it’s time to let go. You deserve friends who you have a mutual relationship with, not ones who think everything is all about them.
The Gossiper
You get the best scoops from this busy-body but sometimes she goes go a little too far. Yeah, you love the newsfeed, but this nosy Nancy tends to make a little too much drama for your liking...
Keep this bud ... if she keep you in the loop, and there’s more to your relationship than just “he said, she said.” If your girl’s gossip keeps you up-to-date with what’s going on with your friends’ lives and isn’t the cruel kind, keep her in your circle. This next year, focus on improving your relationship and making sure keeping people up-to-date doesn’t become berating your other friends.
Lose this sistah ... if she says mean things about you or her words hurt other people. It’s one thing to spread happy news—it’s another to completely bash someone. If your gal’s gossip is always making trouble, it’s time to let this drama queen go. There are better ways to stay in-the-know.
The Juilet
It was always just the two of you until Cupid struck and her BF made three. This girl is constantly with her BF and when you hang out with her, he's automatically invited along. You don’t mind three’s company, but lately you’ve been feeling like the odd (wo)man out...
Keep this bud ... if there’s a girl side to your relationship, too. It’s totally OK to hang out with her BF, too, but it’s way important that your relationship with this chica comes first. This next year, help her keep her chica time: no boys allowed! She’ll def need good girl friends to fall back on in case her fairy tale romance doesn’t work.
Lose this sistah ... if you’re always the third wheel. If her boy is always around, and your pal just can’t seem to get that you just want it to be the two of you, it’s all right to let go. You can look away while they hold hands, sure, but if you feel like you’re just the add-on to this perfect pair, it’s time to let them ride out their sparks while you stick with some other (single!) friends.
The Flake
Your friend’s a ton of fun...when she shows up. Lately, you’ve been making plans, are about to leave and suddenly—you get a text from your pal saying something's suddenly come up...again! Whether it’s because she’s not into going out or she "totally forgot," you can’t help but be fed up...
Your friend’s a ton of fun...when she shows up. Lately, you’ve been making plans, are about to leave and suddenly—you get a text from your pal saying something's suddenly come up...again! Whether it’s because she’s not into going out or she "totally forgot," you can’t help but be fed up...
Keep this bud ... if the excuses are legit. If she’s sincerely sick or canceling out on you for good reason, it’s OK to let this one slide. In 2010, let her make the plans and talk about setting rainchecks if things don’t work first go-around.
Lose this sistah ... if the excuses keep piling up and they’re total lies. No, her bro was not rushed off to the ambulance for food poisoning. If your friend keeps tossing around bizarre excuses, it’s time to cut the ties. Your “pal” obviously has other issues. And you? There are better people to make (and keep) plans with.
The Romeo
This guy has been eyeing you all year, but you just don’t feel the same. Flowers, chocolates, flirty text messages, it’s giving you the chills. You hope this guy gets the hint you don’t like him, but you still want to be friends...
This guy has been eyeing you all year, but you just don’t feel the same. Flowers, chocolates, flirty text messages, it’s giving you the chills. You hope this guy gets the hint you don’t like him, but you still want to be friends...
Keep this bud ... if you genuinely enjoy his company. If he keeps making moves on you, be ready to tell him you don’t feel the same way. Next year, focus on building the friendship you have while gently letting him down in the romance department. Phrases like, "I'm so glad we're PALS!" or just straight up telling him should do the trick.
Lose this mistah ... if the moves are just too much. If this dude makes you feel annoyed, weirded out or awkward, you don’t have a pal on your hands. He's a creeper, not a keeper. Let him go so his feelings for you can simmer. If he can’t be friends without you being interested in him, he’s not a person worth keeping around.
The Cupid
Your chica cares a lot about your love life...a little too much, actually. She’s constantly trying to hook you up with one of her friends. You’re flattered, but sometimes you’d rather not have her involved...
Your chica cares a lot about your love life...a little too much, actually. She’s constantly trying to hook you up with one of her friends. You’re flattered, but sometimes you’d rather not have her involved...
Keep this bud ... if your friendship is more than matches (and she’s had some cute picks!) Sure, she hasn't found ya Prince Charming...yet. But your girl genuinely cares about you. In '10, thank her for what she’s done and build up your friendship. If she knows you that well when it comes to love, then she should def know you well as a pal.
Lose this sistah ... if she crosses the line a little too much. It’s nice she cares about your relationship status, but if you’ve repeatedly told her that you really don’t need her help, and she still keeps pushing her suitors, it’s time to let this matchmaker muddle in someone else's affairs.
The Clinger
You think it’s great your bestie hangs out with you—but not when it’s 24/7. Sometimes you’d really like a breather—everything in moderation. But that option? It just doesn’t seem to exist with this girl...
You think it’s great your bestie hangs out with you—but not when it’s 24/7. Sometimes you’d really like a breather—everything in moderation. But that option? It just doesn’t seem to exist with this girl...
Keep this bud ... if you can make your friendship more balanced and enjoy her company. Sometimes you’ve just gotta add a little distance. This next year, help this pal make more friends. This way you'll expand your circle of chicas, and balance out your BFF-ship better, too.
Lose this sistah ... if you can’t stand her and no matter what you say or hint, she still clings to you. It’s one thing if this girl has other friends and you like being around her, but it’s totes not OK if you’re all she has. Let this girl go and find other people. It may be a tough lesson, but you’ve got other friends, too.
-Alyssa Bailey
POSTED IN how can I make new friends, how can I help my friend
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