My pal is being taken advantage of

My best friend is the sweetest girl who would never hurt a fly. But that's one of her downfalls—she  tries so hard to please everyone that she always ends up hurting herself.


Today she told me that she was hanging out with two of her best guy friends and one of them started to take advantage of her and try and touch her and she told me she didn't know what to do because she really likes him as more than a friend (but he doesn't know) so she didn't want to make him upset by saying no. I really want to help her but I have no ideas how! Can you please help?


Hey girl, it’s great to be nice, but it’s another thing to be TOO nice and not stand up for yourself. It sounds like your friend was def being pressured to accept treatment she didn’t wantand that’s SO not cool. 


Talk it out

Your friend’s scared of hurting her bud’s feelings, but let her know how much she’s hurting yours by not standing up for herself. Tell her you love that she’s nice but she’s also gotta be firm, too. Explain to her the importance of being able to stand up for herself.  If she doesn’t start now, peeps will continue to take advantage of her easy-going ways.


Speaking out

Friendship is a two-way street, so it’s important that the same courtesy your girl gives her BGF is given back to her—that he’s understands and respects what she’s comfortable with. How to set those limits? Let the guy know they’re there! Have a heart-to-heart with your friend and encourage her to say something to this dude. Remind her it’s not rude to say "no" when it comes to her bod. If guys don't respect that, they can get in big trouble. And yep, sexual harassment is a crime.
Rethinking relationships

What is a biggie, however, is if she just sits back and lets things she doesn’t want happen. You should also ask your friend to re-examine why she likes this dude. If she thinks the whole taking advantage or her thing was a one-time deal then she can let this one slide. But if she’s seen pervy behavior from this boy before? Time to say “see ya” before the issue gets scary and serious.


Just be there for your lady and help guide her through these tough decisions. Make sure she’s standing up for herself and make sure that she’s certain this guy is good for her and not a creep. Watch out for her and if it seems like something serious is up talk to a trusted adult.


Infinite xoxo’s,

Alyssa B.

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2/10/2010 7:00:00 AM