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Flirting 101

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G-Blog’s Guide to Giving the Googly Eyes

 
I spy, with my little eye… one very cute guy…
  
…Now what?
 

We’ve all been there: spotted a hottie, but not known how to get his attention, or really liked a guy in class, but not known how to show him we’re interested. Every single day we hear about problems like this on the G-Blog. And no matter what the sitch is, if it has to do with you, a guy, and sparking a ‘more-than-friends’-ship, the answer is always the same: you gotta get your flirt on!

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“But how does one flirt,” you ask?
Ah, that’s one of life’s most elusive mysteries. (Seriously, how to get a guy to like you is probably up there right along with Sasquatch and the meaning of life…) And I’m sorry to say, there is no good answer. Flirting isn’t so much a step-by-step procedure, but more like a style or technique. Everyone has a different approach that works the best for them (whether they are the flirter or the flirtee), so try these on for size and go with the best fit.
 

Say it with your eyes

This is my all-time favorite way to flirt, because it works whether you know the person or not, and it can be a great way to entice a guy to approach you. Here’s what you do: when you see your cutie in the hallway or you’re sitting across from him in class, catch his eye and hold eye contact for just a second (not too long – you might creep him out). Give him a friendly (dare I say even slightly embarrassed, as if to say, “Oops, you caught me admiring your adorable dimples…”) little smile, then look away and put your focus on something else, like the teacher or a book. Don’t just la-dee-da into space, because it might either make it look too obvious or make him think you were just daydreaming instead of looking at him. This technique is especially effective when you use your eyes to relay an understanding or agreement on something – like when the teacher unknowingly says or does something funny and you both laugh silently at him/her, or when that super hard pop quiz is finally over and you both roll your eyes at each other in despair.

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Say it with your smile

Confidence is everything, and you can let it shine through with something as simple as a smile. Hold your head up high, smile, and be friendly, and he’ll likely be less intimidated to approach you. Smiling at guy lets him know you are friendly and open for conversation, or just plain happy to see him (which is always good if you want him to know you like him).
 

Flattery will get you everywhere

Everyone likes compliments, even guys. Boosting his confidence might help in the long run when you’re trying to get him to ask you out, and it’ll definitely help drop subtle hints that you like him (that way he won’t be as shy to ask you out because of his fear of rejection). So tell him you like his new haircut. Or point out how smart that answer was that he gave in class (and maybe ask him to help you with your homework!). In general, being nice is always a good option when you’re trying to make a good impression on anyone.

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Show him your playful side

People are naturally drawn to fun, happy people, so you want this cutie to see that side of you. Being playful can definitely get his attention and show your fun side! You don’t want to hurt his feelings, but tease him a little bit, jokingly. You might even want to sneak in a compliment like, “I’m just kidding, you’re actually really [say the opposite of what you were teasing him about]” to do a double-feature flirt. A little friendly competition works, too. Whether it’s being on his team and working together to cinch the win or being on his rival team and joking about how badly you’re going to beat him, competition can be a great way to spark his interest.
 

Get physical

NO, not like that! I mean touch his shoulder when you’re laughing at his jokes (which you should do anyway so he can see that beautiful smile of yours), or playfully mess up his hair or something. One of the most common problems between guys and gals is getting stuck in the “friend zone” – and trust me, once you’re in that zone, it’s tough to get out. So a little physical flirting can be a way to give him that extra little bit of attention needed to push you past the “just-friends” stage. It’ll help him picture you more as a girl he could date instead of just “one of the guys,” so try to be sweet and feminine about it – don’t hurt the fella!

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Ask a question, any question

Ideally, you’d already have at least a conversational relationship with the guy you’re trying to flirt with. But there are those occasional cases where you’ve been watching Mr. Dreamboat from afar, or you spot someone at the mall that you just have to meet somehow. If you haven’t gotten up the nerve to talk to your cutie (or you haven’t even met him yet), start off slow by asking him a question. Something like, “Hey, what was the homework assignment for tomorrow?” or “So, how do you think you did on that test?” If he’s not in your class, ask him for the time or directions to somewhere. Any excuse to talk to him and essentially make his acquaintance is good!
 

Of course, this list does not exhaust all the ways of flirting, and some techniques work better for some than others, so don’t limit yourself! Do only what you’re comfortable doing, because if you’re comfortable, cool, calm and collected, you’ll give off a much better impression. And remember, you definitely don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard or make yourself too accessible (read: don’t follow him around like a pathetic love-struck puppy dog). Guys like a little bit of a chase – they might be a little turned off if they think you’re desperate. Flirting is a cat and mouse game – and it works best if you take turns being both.

BY JESSIE MERRYMAN ON 12/18/2009 7:00:00 AM

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