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Advice

Ask Lucky: Choosing Sides?

 

Two of my buds always fight and want me to choose sides. When I tell them to work it out on their own, they get mad and tell me, “If you were really my friend, you’d take my side.”


They’re both great friends, and I don’t want to lose either of them. Help!


Ugh. Friendship triangles can be complicated. And if you were to get involved in their spats, it would only further complicate things. No matter what, keep refusing to take sides. Let them know you are friends with both of them and do not want to get involved in their tiffs.


Tell them it’s unfair to put you in that position, and that you would really appreciate it if they would understand that. If they keep pressuring you, declare in a joking but firm manner that you are Switzerland—you’re the neutral party and won’t choose sides!


TELL US NOW! Need advice ASAP? Click the purple SEND A QUESTION button to ask our very own Lucky for help! 

BY CAITLIN R. ON 6/23/2009 7:00:00 AM 6 COMMENTS

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6 READER COMMENTS

MOD MOD MOD!
well idk if you can help me with this, but this summer (so far) has been totally full of tears and DRAMA. and i seem to be the victim of all of it. okay - so i hang out with two different groups. lets call them group 1 and group 2. i hang out with group 1 a lot more though. like, on the first day of school - group 1 allll took a trip to my favorite city and mall without inviting me because of a rumor group 2 told them about me. that was the start of it all. and my bff - who hangs out with both groups, seems to be the center of all of it...
and that was only one event of the many this summer.
there has not been one peaceful day and i'm sooo sick of it! everyones happy but me.
what do i do?




Hey babe,

It sounds like you need some space from all of these girls. Try doing some things by yourself and hanging out with your fam for a bit until things cool down. Hanging out by yourself can be totally relaxing, especially if being around your friends hasn't been lately.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

xomrsmaryjonasxox3 on 6/26/2009 8:02:18 PM

when i was in, like, kindergarten, two kids would fight over me...sometimes i would leave, and they would keep fighting. good thing that doesn't happen anymore to me.

cats_r_the_best on 6/26/2009 11:08:10 AM

Hey girl, choosing between friends can be really tough and that's why you never do it. No matter what your friends say, if you are a true and good friend, you won't choose sides. Once they get over the fight they will realize what you did was for their own good. Also, choosing sides just adds more fuel to the fire and causes more drama. Even though it's sometimes hard to say no to friends about anything, sometimes you have to, and saying you aren't going to choose sides is your best bet to help you not get involved in anything. Good Luck Girl! XOXO

Check out my pro girlies! I give advice on anything! =] XOXO

dancerlove126 on 6/24/2009 3:32:24 PM

***MOD***MOD***
Ok so the school year has just come to an end and i had an over-all good year except for one thing. Everyone in the school knows me as the Super Smart and Quiet girl. Next year i will be in the highest grade in my school and i want to be known for something other than shy and quiet!! I don't even know what they are even talking about because i am not even that smart. Any way how do i let people see who i really am and not what they think of me as. I am really and outgoing adventurous fun person to be around. Also if a guy is constantly asking you to borrow things everyday and always trying to make you laugh does that mean that he likes you?? These are the questions that i really need answered.
XOXO JazzyJENN




Hey babe,

Try smiling more and being more friendly to everyone. Give them a chance to get to know you and make them feel like you are approachable. They might be surprised by what they learn. As for guys, for some guys that can be a sign! Get to know the guy better and you'll find out for sure.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

JazzyJennpartygrl on 6/23/2009 2:53:22 PM

that sucks.
i was in that situation in grade 8.

beastie on 6/23/2009 11:38:44 AM

OMG I'm in the exact same situation! it sucks, but wow maybe i should joke around with it with them a lil

Check out my profile girls, and please leave a comment, thanks!

SportyGal on 6/23/2009 9:50:43 AM


    

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