My dad died a couple of months ago and everyone keeps saying “I know how you feel” and, “You’ll get over it eventually.” But the truth is, they don’t know how I feel and I don’t want to get over it. He was a big part in my life and I miss him terribly. What should I say to people who just want me to move on?
Dear Missing Dad,
I’m so sorry your dad died. What an awful loss. Your friends mean well, but you’re right: They can’t imagine what you’re going through. Your dad will always be a big part of your life. In fact, your goal shouldn’t be to “get over” your dad’s death. Instead, you should accept that you were lucky to have a loving father, but unlucky to lose him. Aim to live your life in fun, meaningful and productive ways. Your dad would want you to. Accepting the death of someone you love takes much longer than a few months. And as much as your friends care and want to help you, nothing they mumble will do the trick. Cut them some slack and just say, “It’s hard, but I’m hanging in there.”
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