Dear Carol

The 411 on mixing friends

 
 
I hang out with two groups of friends: my preppie friends from before and my sporty newer friends. My old friends complain that I hang out with my new friends too much, and vice versa. Last weekend, I stayed home alone because I didn’t know which group to hang out with and didn’t want to let anyone down. I tried to get them together to know each other better, but it didn’t work out. I don’t have one friend from either group who understands how hard it is for me to choose. Can you please give me ideas on what to do?

 

Dear Fought-Over Friend,

While going out with two guys is pretty much against the rules, having lots of different friends isn’t. You don’t really need to choose—there’s enough of you to go around and enough days in the summer to hang out with lots of people. If the old friends say, “Want to go to a movie?” you can say, “I’d love to,” or “Sorry, I made plans for tonight but how about tomorrow?”

 

Try not to feel apologetic or defensive—the more comfortable you are with the situation, the more comfortable others will feel. One more tip: Don’t spend your time with one group talking about what you like and what annoys you about the other group. Good luck!

 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 3/31/2014 12:00:00 AM

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