Ask Bill & Dave

Freaked out by the future: My BF is planning way too far ahead


 
I really like my BF, but he’s making all these plans—like when we will get married and how many kids we’ll have. I hate it! Can I nicely tell him to stop, or do I have to break up?
 
Dave: He likes to look ahead, huh? Maybe you should go out with your friends next Friday while your BF figures out his retirement plan. Try responding the exact opposite of how he probably anticipates. If he wants city living, tell him you want to be in the Outback. No matter how he interprets this—as the remote region of Australia, a steakhouse chain or an all-terrain Subaru—perhaps he’ll stop making long-range plans with you.
 
Bill: Tell your BF it would be nice to have your driver’s license before you start making wedding plans. Ask him his goals for the next few years (graduating high school, attending college). Point out that you’re both likely to change and grow during that time. If he really cares about you, he’ll slow the pace.
 
 

BY BILL AND DAVE ON 10/14/2013 12:00:00 AM

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