Dear Carol

I don't want to be a pushover anymore!

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I am a huge pushover. I constantly worry about what others think of me and can never get the courage to stand up for myself without feeling guilty. I get so flustered that I want to run and hide, which is usually what I end up doing. Any advice on assertiveness?

Dear Pushed Over Too Many Times,

A lot of girls are shy and accommodating. Ask yourself this: If you speak up, what are you guilty of? Having an opinion? Being an individual? The fact is, you don’t approve of everybody’s actions, and everybody may not approve of yours. And that’s OK.

To become more assertive, start by speaking up more at home, in your favorite class and with other girls (many of whom also feel insecure). Think about what you are best at, and develop those skills. Little by little, you can feel powerful instead of invisible.

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