Dear Carol

Am I shallow for turning down a date to the dance?


 
A boy asked me to our spring dance, and he’s sweet but not that attractive. I said no because I just don’t think of him in that way. Does saying no to him make me shallow? Also, there’s a boy I’m afraid to ask to the dance because I’m afraid of rejection. Should I ask him?

 

Dear Am I Shallow?

If you’d written to say that you like only hot guys and would never talk to anyone who isn’t insanely popular, then yep, I’d call you shallow. But it’s not shallow to decline an invitation to a dance from someone you don’t want to dance with—especially if you’re polite about it. (Note:  “No, but thank you for asking,” beats “Ugh! In your dreams.”) As for risking rejection yourself, instead of boldly asking him to the dance, why not smile and flirt and get some sparks going? You might also try the oblique, “Are you going to Spring Fling?” rather than the point-blank, “Want to go to Spring Fling?”
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 3/20/2013 12:00:00 AM

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