I have been having feelings for girls for a long time and
I’m starting to think I’m a lesbian. A few months ago at school, I made a huge
mistake. I told my friends what I was feeling. Other kids overheard and now my
entire grade knows and I’m constantly made fun of. I’ve talked to my parents
but they just say to deny and say that I’m straight, but I feel bad when I do
that. How can I fix this disaster?
Dear Pretty Much Friendless,
I am sorry that your classmates are acting so
extraordinarily lame! When people go public with private feelings, it’s not
always pretty, especially when peers are young and immature. (That’s one reason
I encourage girls not to rush to be open about their sexuality. The other
reason is that is it really the whole grade’s business?) All this will be much
easier soon and will be a non-issue in college. For now, lying or pretending to
have an out-of-state BF doesn’t seem right, and starting fresh elsewhere
probably isn’t an option. What to do? Is there a way that you can make yourself
known for something else? For being an athlete or actor or scientist or artist
or having a cool summer job? After all, your budding sexuality is only one
piece of your rich and complex personality. Also, instead of trying to define
yourself aloud, keep getting comfortable with who you are, with your own
multifaceted self. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable others
will be around you. In short, hang in there and find a worthy friend, girl or
guy. As for the insensitive goons, they will grow up someday and probably look
back in shame about their behavior.
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait.
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 7/1/2013 12:00:00 AM
POSTED IN bad friend, dear carol solves BFF probs, by bestie is spilling my secrets, how can I make new friends, can I trust my friend, advice from Carol Weston