How to deal when you and your BFF have the same crush

You and your BFF are crushing on the same person. Now what? While you may be afraid to spill your thoughts to your bestie (it's a tough sitch!), this is not one of those things that usually fixes itself and you don’t want to keep your feelings bottled up. Rip off the band-aid and talk it out with her. Sit down and have an open conversation about how you each feel in order to move forward. You talk about everything else so why not this? Follow these steps to ensure that difficult (but much needed!) conversation goes smoothly.

Pick a time and date that works for both of you.
You want to make sure there is plenty of time for both sides to talk and really open up without being interrupted.

Pick a neutral location for your meeting.
Just like in sports having a home field advantage is a thing. So try to meet in a space that is either owned by both or neither of you. It will give you the confidence to truly speak your mind. It’s easy to tell someone to leave your house if you don’t like what she is saying but you couldn’t do that if you're meeting at a coffee shop.

Set ground rules for your meeting.
You probably know your BFF better than she knows herself. So you know that she rolls her eyes when she’s mad or that she loves to ramble when she talks. Setting simple ground rules will make sure your meeting will run smoothly.

We recommend...
1. No interruptions while the other person is speaking.
2. If you feel the need to interrupt raise your hand first.
3. No yelling or screaming at each other.
4. No matter what you are still BFFs.

Take a break.
Talking and listening can be exhausting so make sure you pause and take a snack break. You want to make sure you're giving your friend all of your attention. So if that means you need to put the conversation on hold to get some water and a snack, do so. Just make sure to bring plenty for both of you cause that’s what friends do.

Remember you guys are friends.
Don’t let this one crush or any future crush ruin your friendship because no crush is worth the trouble. And remember, you don’t even know if your crush likes one of you back. So you could ultimately be fighting for nothing. As besties, your job is to support each other no matter what. So instead of fighting try and bond over this.

Have you ever had a difficult conversation with a friend? Tell us about it down below.


by Britnee Wright | 2/5/2018
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