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CRUSHES

Advice

Can you *really* get back together with an ex?

They blew it—and now they want you back. Here are five ways to tell if bae is worth the bother...

Whether they left you alone under the mistletoe or the winter formal was a not-so-merry night, they messed up. Now, bae's back—and on their best behavior. Here's how to figure out if your former flame deserves a second shot.

They left you hanging

They asked for your number...then never texted. At a party a few weeks later, they ask you to make plans.

Their motive: Maybe he was seeing someone. Maybe she was swamped with projects. Or maybe they hadn't figured out their feelings until this moment. Whatever it was, it took 'til now for them to wake up and smell the eggnog.

Your move: Take them up on their offer. You'll likely find out why they never got in touch. But if they ignore you again? Bye!

They chose the other girl

Your BGF (and longtime crush) ditched you for a random girl and dropped out of your life for months. Now that they're over, he wants to buddy up again.

Their motive: He's ready to date again—and sees you, his loyal pal, as the next step.

Your move: Stay strictly friends-only. You may really like him, but jumping into more-than-buds territory could ruin your relationship—and leave your heart broken...again.

They blindsided you

After a summer of bliss, they dumped you to "date other people." Now that winter has arrived, they want to cozy up.

Their motive: Bae is looking back and seeing just how good they had it with you.

Your move: Just. Say. No. Their history speaks for itself, and there's no need for you to revisit those dark days.

They freaked out

You told them you loved them...and they froze. After a few weeks of silence, they are leaving you "let's hang out" messages.

Their motive: Clearly, they weren't prepared to hear the "L" word and went incommunicado simply because they didn't know how to respond.

Your move: Give them another chance, but don't repeat those three little words quite yet. Just can't contain your affection? Tell them things like, "I love spending time with you," or "I love how you make me laugh." You'll make your point.

They embarrassed you

You're trying out for the lead in your dance school's production of The Nutcracker and your crush says—in front of your friends—that, given your dancing skills, you'd make a better tin soldier than sugarplum fairy. Later, they say they hope you're not upset.

Their motive: Seems counterintuitive but some crushes think "playful teasing" is a great way to get your attention and show interest. Sounds bananas? Not if you're still pretty new to relationships (which, hello, most of your peers are).

Your move: Tell them yes, you are upset, and you don't want to be the target of their "funny" commentary. It may be the wake-up call they need to treat you with kindness. No joke! 

by Jillian Terry | 1/22/2020
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