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Why you should start keeping a crush diary

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Keeping a crush diary means spilling all of your crazy feelings onto the page (or your notes app) at least once a day. While the commitment might feel like a lot at first, having a diary to look back on can be a rewarding experience. You'll be able to see your relationships progress and put those relationships in perspective. You might even gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Interested? We've listed these and other benefits below to help you decide if a crush diary is for you.

You’ll find out what you’re really feeling

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Ever feel really conflicted about someone? Maybe you're just having a hard time understanding your feelings. Instead of overanalyzing the other person, ask yourself some q's. Do you like them as a person? How much are you attracted to them? Why this person? Journaling won’t answer all your questions, but it will definitely answer some of them—and give you much-needed peace of mind.

You can keep track of how feelings change

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Going back and reading about the first time you talked to your crush or the second time they borrowed your pencil will help you put your relationship in perspective. If you’ve gotten closer to your crush, you’ll be able to reminisce over the way your relationship has progressed.

If the crush ends up fading, you might be able to learn why it didn’t work out, or at least understand how your feelings changed. Crushes can last a long time or be super brief. Getting perspective on how each one is unique will help you begin future relationships with patience and realistic expectations.

You'll improve your relationship with yourself

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You get to know others better by talking to them, so how do you get to know yourself better? Easy: by talking to yourself! Writing out how you’re feeling about someone will help you understand what's important to you in a relationship, and the way you react. Maybe you keep everything inside, or you’re worried you express too much. Writing it all down will help you get a better idea of how you deal with your crushes while improving your relationship with yourself.

You'll feel listened to

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No one can get you the way *you* get you. No one else knows every one of your favorite songs, and what you’re really feeling deep down. So who better to listen to you than yourself? When you’re caught up in a crush, it’s important to stay grounded in yourself and who you are. Otherwise, your feelings may turn into an infatuation. But if you make time to check in with yourself, you'll feel more love for yourself and for the amazing girl you are—crush or no crush.

You’ll be able to talk about it easier

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One of the problems with crushes is how to talk about them with friends. Are you talking about that cutie too much? And how do you talk about someone you don’t understand your feelings for? By letting out your feelings in private, you’ll be more calm and collected when you tell your friends about them. You won’t talk about your crush too much because you got it out of your system. In fact, you'll know exactly what to say because you've already said it on the page.

You’ll get a laugh out of it later

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Going back and giggling about the crushes you used to act goofy around or even forgot all about is super fun! If you keep up with your crush diary for a long time, you’ll be able to see the way you felt about each one. You might even notice that you've learned to get better at handling your crushes. You can see your own growth and the way you’ve matured, despite a few awkward stumbles. After all, it takes confidence to look back and laugh at yourself.

Tips for your crush diary:

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  • When writing, don’t be afraid of what someone else will think. The diary is for you! Be honest, no matter what that looks like for you.
     
  • Be consistent. Keep at it, and write whenever you want. Don’t force yourself to write. It’s there to comfort you, not to become a chore.
     
  • Keep it safe. If it’s in your phone, make the title something people wouldn’t suspect. If it’s a notebook, make sure you have a secret place for it.
     
  • Don’t be afraid to reread what you’ve written, whether it’s yesterday’s entry or something you wrote a month ago. A big part of knowing yourself is seeing the difference between how you felt in the past versus where you are in the present. 
     
  • Write out your hopes and wishes in your crush diary. Knowing the future you dream of is a great way to manifest the love you’re longing for. 
     
  • Remember that the best relationships are between two people who are secure within themselves. Love yourself, and let your crush diary become a safe place for self-expression.

Have any of your own journaling hacks and habits? Let us know on Instagram or Twitter by tagging @girlslifemag!

Title Image: Gary Mordor/Pexels
Edited by Bailey Bujnosek.

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by Grace Hasson | 9/4/2020
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