Dear Carol

"Dear Carol, is my friend *really* OK? "

Dear Carol, 

One of my friends lives in a different state. One day I didn't get a text all night and all of next day. It was the first time she hadn't texted me in over 24 hours. She slowly stopped texting as much and now we text less and less. I've asked her twice if she's OK and she always says yes, but I don't know if she really is. Sometimes when I'd call her, she would seem sad and would be in her room with the lights off. Or she would tell me her mom asked why she was crying, and she would say it was allergies, but it wasn't. With her not answering her texts, I have no idea if it's because she's hurting or just busy. I don't know what to do. What do you think?

- Worried About A Friend

Dear Worried About A Friend, 

It's normal for friends to talk and text a lot and then to talk and text less when their lives are fuller or busier. But since you are aware that she gets down sometimes, I see why you worry. Text and say (in your own words), "Hey, I hope school is going OK for you. I miss you, and you know you can tell me anything anytime and I'll be there for you." Or maybe instead of, "Are you OK???" just say, "I was thinking of you today because I saw the cuuutest cat/dog/baby/boy..." We all have our ups and downs, frantic times and freer times, and sweet texts serve as pick-me-ups and reminders that someone cares, though it can be hard to keep up daily missives. Still, it's kind of you to want to be sure she's doing OK. And we all can use words of encouragement—even grown-up advice columnists. 

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by GL | 4/7/2022