LIFE

Friends

How to help when your BFF loses a loved one

 

Death is a very hard sitch to deal with. And since we all have loved ones, unfortunately, at one point or another, you, a friend (or a friend of a friend) will one day have to deal with the pain of loss. Since everyone deals with things differently, it’s important to make sure you’re super supportive, respectful and say the right things. If you happen to have a BFF who just recently lost a loved one, here's what you should know. 

Actions speak louder than words

Chances are your friends will be hearing hundreds of “I’m sorry for your loss” comments, but as a BFF you should be helping her through. Being there for your friend, even if you’re struggling to find what to say, is the most important thing you can do. Try to keep things as normal as possible for her so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Pop in your fave flick, get her that ice cream she loves and spend some girl time together. If she wants to talk about it, hear her out and stay strong.

Don’t act like it didn’t happen

As great as it sounds to just act normal and hope your friend forgets about it, its NOT realistic. Your BFF may want to talk about it. But if not, she still needs time to mourn. Don’t try to push her to immediately jump back into your normal lives. You’re intentions may be good, but she might take it as you not caring about her feelings.

Try to keep them social, even if they say no

You shouldn’t totally pretend the death didn’t happen, but distractions are a good way to help someone move on. Whenever you’re going for ice cream or to the movies, or just going on a walk with your dog, invite your friend. It may take awhile for her to want to go out and act normal, but keep inviting her (even if she keeps saying no). Don’t be offended if she seems to push you away. In the end she’ll be glad you stuck around through it all and when she’s ready, she’ll start taking you up on your invites to hang. 

Remember everyone mourns differently

No two people react to death the same way. Some people might act like nothing’s wrong on the surface, and some people might lock themselves in their room for weeks. Remember that you need to let your friend cope in the way she needs to and not push her to do anything a different way. The most important thing is that you stay through her side for however long it takes, and remind her that things will be okay. Be there for her to talk to, to cry with and to laugh with.

Have you lost a loved one? How did you deal and what did your BFF do to help you cope? Share in the comments below. 

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by Cheyenne Dermody | 2/1/2016
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