LIFE

Friends

How to deal when you and your BFF grow apart

 

Throughout your life, your interests, likes and dislikes and activities you're involved in will change. Unfortunately, sometimes that means you’ll start to drift apart from your friends, tooeven the bestie you’ve had since preschool. It can be a sad sitch, but it’s not uncommon and it’s probably going to happen to every girl at some point. Experiencing it for the first time is difficult so, if you're struggling with BFF blues, follow the tips below to handle it in the best way possible: 

Tell them how you feel.

Spilling your feelings to your bestie is usually easy; however, it’s much harder to tell them that you feel sad, left out or even angry that your friendship is fading. It’s definitely difficult, but chances are your friend has been noticing it happening too and is hopefully willing to try and salvage the relationship. Honesty is key.

Suggest to spend more time together.

You may not see her as much as you used to but that doesn’t mean both of you have to stop hanging out completely. Try and schedule a girl date once a week (or once a month if you are super busy) even if it’s only for an hour. That way you can catch up and still be at least a little involved in each other's lives.

Re-evaluate the relationship.

If your friend is flaking out on you and cancelling plans often, then it might be time to rethink the relationship. The friendship isn’t any fun if it’s one sided nor is it fair to you to be making time for your friend if she isn't doing the same for you. Sometimes, you just have to let go and move on. On the other hand, if you really want to save the friendship, you need to put the work in. If you find yourself too busy or not really wanting to stop the fade, it doesn’t make you a bad person...but just like you wouldn’t lead on a guy, you shouldn’t lead on your friend. Let her know if you think it’s time for both of you to go your separate ways.

Don’t go to *that* place.

If the friendship does end in a “break-up” don’t slip into that what’s-wrong-with-me-I'm-an-awful-person mindset. It’s totally normal for friends to grow apart and move down different paths. Keep yourself from thinking those negative thoughts and, instead, look forward to future relationships.

Make new friends.

The phrase “out with the old, in with the new” definitely applies here. You don’t need to feel bad about forming new friendships because your ex-bestie is going to do the same.

Keep memories close.

Just because the friendship fades, doesn’t mean the memories have to. Don’t dwell on the negative things that happened at the end. Remember the sleepovers when you stayed up all night and the inside jokes that made you laugh until you cried. Moving on doesn't erase all of the good times you shared.

Have you ever grown apart from a close friend? How'd you handle it? Let us know below!

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by Maddie Smith | 11/5/2016
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