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Friends

What a friend crush is...and how to act on it

Everyone has had a friend crush, even if you're not entirely sure what a friend crush is yet. Having one is usually a positive thing, since it means you want to go out and talk to new people. 

So...what exactly is a friend crush? Your friend crush is just someone you *really* want to be friends with. Did you ever want to befriend that super sweet girl from history class? That's a friend crush. Or did you ever want to hang out or do homework with that funny ensemble member from the school musical? That's also a friend crush.

Friend crushes can be just as intimidating and exciting as any romantic crush, so here are some tips on how to act on those friend crushes of yours, especially if you don't know the person very well at first.

Compliment them
This is a basic thing you can do if you haven't really talked to your friend crush before. At first, you can compliment them on more obvious things like their cute shirt, or, if you've talked before, you can throw up some heart emojis on their latest Insta post. However, if that's the only thing you ever say to them, it's easy for the compliments to seem inauthentic. If you can, try complimenting them on more specific things. Let them know that you think their solo in choir sounded great or that their speech in history class was *amaze*. Specific compliments seem more genuine, and genuine compliments build positive connections between the two of you.

Ask them questions about themselves
Most people love to talk about themselves, so asking your friend crush a question can completely open up a conversation opportunity for you. This question doesn't need to be deep or weirdly personal. It could be as easy as "What did you think of the homework?", "How did the soccer game go?" or "Did you watch Hamilton?" It gets them talking and gives you the opportunity to chime in and note a similarity between you two. Did your friend crush think the history reading was just as hard as you thought it was? Let them know! If they don't say anything that you relate to, don't force it. You can either ask follow-up questions if they mentioned anything interesting, or you can add your own input.

Offer or ask your friend crush for help
This is another easy one that opens up a ton of talking opportunities. DM them if you need help on a specific homework problem. If you hear them asking around for a pad or tampon and have one in your backpack, offer it to them. The possibilities of offering or asking for help are endless, so take advantage of this. Little acts can build up the connection between you two, and they can unlock so many more conversation topics that can help you two find your similarities.

Invite them to something
After doing those three things for a couple days or weeks, you and your friend crush have hopefully found conversation topics that interest both of you. Once you're talking freely with your friend crush without worrying about starting a conversation with a specific starter like the ones mentioned above, you're almost there.

The last step would be to invite them to something. It doesn't have to be your birthday party or a coffee with just the two of you (but if you want to, go for it!). You can invite them to come with you to your history teacher's office hours. Or, if you're both in band, you can get a group from band to grab food after school and invite them along. Group settings work great if you feel like you don't know them too well yet. From there, you guys can continue talking, exchange numbers, or do whatever you feel is right. Every situation is going to be different.

If all goes well, your friend crush is no longer a crush. They're now your friend! You guys might not be super close yet, but all friendships take some work and lots of time. If things didn't work out or your friend crush wasn't responding to your efforts to befriend them, it's okay! Not all friendships were meant to be, and at least now you know you can focus your friend-making efforts elsewhere. 

Did any of your besties start out as major friend crushes? Let us know on Twitter @girlslifemag!

All GIFs via Giphy 

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by Erin Jeon | 7/20/2020
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