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How to talk to your potential college roommate

Oh, college... It's the perfect time to be independent *and* share a tiny room with a stranger at the same time. 

Whether you've placed your deposit as a senior in high school or you're just getting started in your college search, finding a roommate is hard. Reaching out and deciding to live with a stranger for a year? Even harder. 

Don't worry—we've been through it. We're here to give you the best advice to make sure you can talk to your potential college roommate *and* decide is they're the right one for you!

1. Join a group online

It might seem oldschool, but most colleges and universities have student groups on Facebook with a lot of other students looking for roommates. Your school might even have their own virtual mixer or online group for building roommate connections. If you can't find one, then reach out and ask!

2. Connect on social media

Some people have their school and class year in their bio on Insta, or sometimes you'll find them through online groups with links to their socials. One of the best skills you'll learn in college is the value of connection, and it all starts with your first-year roommate. Helpful reminder: don't judge an Insta page by it's cover.

3. Chat them up

Comment, like and don't be afraid to send the first text! Hit them up with a thoughtful message or with a simple opening (i.e. what's your major?). Most of all, just be blunt—"Are you looking for a roommate?" will suffice. 

4. Introduce yourself

Find common ground by sharing basic info about yourself. Let them know where you're from, what you're majoring in and what your interests are. A self intro can open the doors to find common interests (and maybe a new roommate).

5. FaceTime date

If you really want to get to know them better, set up a time for a video call. It might seem awkward at first, but they might be feeling just as nervous as you are. This is the perfect opportunity to create a face-to-face connection with the person you might be sharing a dorm room with!

6. Ask *all* the questions

Be upfront and be honest. If you're really looking for a potential college roommate, you'll want (and need) to get to know them on a deeper level. We're talking sleep schedules, study patterns, social life, expectations *and* if they want their roommate to be their BFF or just someone to co-exist with. 

7. Meet up in person

If this is possible, meeting your potential roommate in person is probably the best way to test the vibes. Meet in the middle for coffee or grab lunch and take a walk in the park. It's basically a roommate date, TBH.


Reaching out to a stranger can be hard, especially when the pressure feels like it's on. Remember—finding a roommate and committing to one is *completely* your choice (unless it's a randomized process). Make sure you have those tough conversations about expectations *and* reality. If you have a gut feeling (good or bad), then you should follow it.

Have any college questions? Let us know on Twitter @girlslifemag!

Images: Pinterest

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by Allie Lijewski | 3/10/2021
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