LIFE

Tough Stuff

I'm dating my BF for the wrong reasons

My guy friend was just diagnosed with clinical depression and he's in a really bad spot in his life right now. He asked me out and I agreed, but only shortly after I began regretting it. I think I like him only as a friend, but I might be able to mold those feelings into something more. Should I stick it out and see what happens or break up with him and risk spiraling off his already delicate mental state?
 
Hey girl, this is a bit of a sticky situation. While you don’t want to hurt your friend, what he needs most right now is a good friend, not a girlfriend. It’s not fair to either of you to be in a relationship with each other if you can’t see him as more than a friend. But it is important to maintain your friendship.
Don’t fake it
The best thing you can do in this scenario is be honest with your heart and yourself. If you’re not a feeling a relationship with your guy friend, then it’s time to break it off before things get too complicated. No matter how much you may want to, you can’t fake romantic feelings for him and he’s also not emotionally available right now to think and care for someone else. Your relationship could be different in the future, but for now, it’s best to be friends.
Talk it out
Your friend is going through a tough emotional point in his life and honestly, he needs to focus on himself to feel better again. Break the news to him gently in a private one-on-one conversation. You could say, “I care about you very much and I want to help you. But, unfortunately, I can’t do that as your girlfriend and I think we should just be friends.” Ask him if you can still be there for him as his friend.  He may be upset, but having you their as a friend to support him could help him in the long run.
Be supportive
If your friend decides he needs some personal space, you need to respect that. But if he’s fine with being friends, you need to remember to keep the relationship strictly friendly, which means no flirting, nothing that would make him think you’re romantically interested in him. While you’re not his therapist, it’s important for you to listen to your friend and be there when he needs you. Clinical depression is not easy for the person going through it or the people in their lives. But with time and the support of his family and friends, like you, your friend will be okay. Best of luck, hon!

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by L’Oreal | 2/1/2016
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