Tough Stuff

3 steps for cutting toxic people out of your life

Being able to connect with other people is nothing short of fantastic. Whether it's venting about a stressful exam to your best friend, scoring the winning point with your teammates, or laughing over dinner with your mom, it's amazing having others to share life moments with—no matter if they're big or small. Unfortunately, not all connections are so wonderful. Sometimes in life you come across negative relationships.  

The problem with toxic relationships is, of course, their toxicity. They can be emotionally, socially and physically exhausting—toxic people can affect your overall well-being. Some girls have a tendency to want to resolve everything with as little conflict as possible. However, sometimes conflict is necessary, especially if it means removing negative influences from your life. Still, if you're thinking about cutting someone toxic out of your life, there are a couple steps you should consider.        

1. Evaluate the situation. Make sure you understand what's going on as fully as possible. It's much easier to end a relationship than to mend a broken one. Take some time and make a list of what this person does or says that you find personally harmful or offensive. Now, think about your list. Don't make excuses for the other person, but own your behavior as well. Sometimes, if you've been having issues with a person for a long time (jealousy, arguing, etc.) it can seem like someone is attacking you, when the problem is really based on another issue. Other times, toxic is toxic. If someone you know is constantly putting you down or trying to make you feel like a lesser person, chances are this person is harmful to have around. Remember, it's your life. You may think you need these people if your life, but if they consistently make you uncomfortable, you're probably better off without them.      

2. Have a discussion. Let the other person know how you've been feeling. Sometimes just talking can make things better. Believe it or not, sometimes people are completely unaware of their harmful behaviors. They might be unaware that their comments or actions are toxic. Find a time when you can speak to your toxic connections about how you're feeling. Try to stay calm, and explain to them exactly why you find their behavior hurtful. Although it is important to have a mature conversation, do not allow them to interrupt you or try to persuade you that your feelings are invalid. Statements like "I was joking" or "I think you're being too sensitive" are warning signs. It means the person is trying to put the blame on you. If someone can't even hear your opinion without becoming defensive, it's time to seriously reconsider your relationship. 

3. Decide that it's time to end things. If you feel as if a relationship is genuinely harmful to your well-being, explain to the other people involved why they're no longer welcome in your life. Having an in-person conversation will ensure that you can make your point clearly heard. If it makes you feel better, bring people who you know will stand with you for encouragemen. Stay firm, and don't allow them to intimidate you. By now, you've spent time weighing your options and evaluating your connections. Trust yourself. If you feel like someone is not good for you or your life, your instinct is likely right. Walk away, and don't look back. t.  

How have you dealt with toxic relationships in your life? Let us know in the comments section below!


by Lauren Padilla | 10/20/2016
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