Don't Judge Me
I'm pretty sure I have depression. It's like some days I don't want to even get up anymore, because nothing is worth it. My grades are slipping, and I've started to hurt myself. My mom died when I was 6 and my dad got sent to jail when I was a few months old for physical abuse and other stuff.
It's not just that, though. I'm like a verbal punching bag at home. Yelling at me has slowly started to turn to punching here and there. And not to mention my dad got out of jail two years ago. It frustrates me that I could see him on the street and not know it's him.
I really need help, but I don't want anyone to know. I live in a really small town, and everyone is judgmental. I've told one friend who used to have depression, and she told me to tell my doctor, but I'm scared to because people will find out about my problems and stuff. I don't know what to do, and I need help.
Aw, sweetie, this is a really rough sitch. Depression is a tough topic. It’s an illness, and just like any other sickness, you shouldn’t have to battle it alone. It sounds like you’ve had a pretty dark past, but don’t let that stop you from achieving a bright future!
First off, remember that depression and the abuse that you're suffering from is NOT your fault. It’s a serious issue, but it doesn’t have to get the best of you. No one is going to judge you on these serious sitches. You’re a strong girl, you’re a fighter and you will rise above this.
You are also not alone. It may help to talk about your situation to other people who have either been there or are going through the same thing. There are support groups full of people just like you waiting to help you. Check out our help hotline RIGHT HERE. If that’s too scary, you can always come on the site to talk to other girls and get advice. GL won’t judge you – we promise!
And it’s OK if you don’t want to share this one with your friends. But you have to tell somebody. These are super serious issues that need attention ASAP. It’ll feel soo good to just let out all the emotion that’s been bottled up inside you, babe.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to another adult in your family, make an appointment to talk to your school counselor. She can help you boost those grades, find a support group, deal with the abuse issues... and best of all she WON’T judge you.
And one more important thing? I know it’s tough babe, but try to stay as positive as possible. Are you an awesome artist? Painting, sculpting and making collages is a great outlet for your pain – and a much safer alternative than hurting yourself. There are tons of other ways to express yourself – getting it out at sports practice, writing poetry or listening to music. Remember that the best thing about tough situations is learning to beat them and live above it.
Lots of love,