There is this boy that I really like and he asked me out the other day. I didn't say yes or no yet because I like him a lot but I'm scared to start a relationship. My other relationships have ended really badly. What can I do to make this one better?

Hey girl, congratulations with this guy! That sounds great and like a relationship worth taking a chance on! Here’s the thing with shaky pasts: when it comes to entering a new relationship, keep in mind that the past is not the present. It’s important to take lessons from your past relationships but to not let those not-so-great endings ruin new beginnings.

So what lessons do you take? When it comes to evaluating old relationships that ended messily, it’s important to pinpoint what things did and didn’t work in them. Did you guys not talk enough? Did you see too much or too little of each other? Targeting weak points in former relationships can give you a hint on what to do to make this new relationship your best yet!

Think about the things you like about this new guy, and take a deep breath. This is worth pursuing if you really like him. Talk to him about taking things slow though. Start with a few casual dates where you get to know each other more before you dive in heart first. Explain to him you’ve had some messy relationships before and you don’t want yours with him to be like that. He’ll appreciate the fact he’s your exception.

As you start to date this guy, don’t let the past impair the present. Give this guy a clean slate and see what wonderful new things you discover. When you focus on living in the moment, you’ll find all that pain from the past doesn’t matter. All that matters is the moment you’re spending with that guy right now.

A general note: be optimistic and realize that while many relationships come to an end, it’s the lessons you learn from them along the way that put you that much closer to finding the one. Best of luck!

Infinite xoxo’s,

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