My BFF, BGF and I used to do everything together until they started dating.  I would have been fine with it, but now all they do is hang out together without me!  I ask people for help, but they only say, “They have found each other.  Don’t try to stop it.”   I’m afraid that if they break up, I will have to choose one of them.  I just want to hang out with them both!

Hey there, girly!  Sorry to hear about the tough sitch.  Having your two besties date can leave you feelin’ like a funny third wheel.  But no worries!  I think there are def some things you can do to make everyone a li’l happier.

My good friend Tyler is in the same exact sitch as you.  He introduced two of his besties in the hopes that they’d be friends too.  Turns out, his plan worked…maybe a bit too well!  They started dating, leaving him a tad uncomfortable.  What worked best for him is talking about it.  He let them know that even though he was happy for them, it left him in a weird spot.

Once he voiced his feelings, they were way open to talking about it.  Now they try not to act too “couple-y” around him and still make time to hang out with him one on one.  Communication is key, so make time to try and talk to your pals about how you feel.

Even though things are a li’l weird now, that doesn’t mean the change in your relationship is a bad thing.  Sure, they may be dating now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t all still be friends.  Let them know that you’re feelin’ a bit out of the loop.  You can all hang together (but let ‘em know you don’t want to feel like a third wheel!) and one-on-one (you and your BFF or you and your BGF).  It’s great that they’re happy, it’s not worth losing such a great friendship.

Trying to keep up with school, extracurriculars, family and friends is a tough balancing act.  Now try adding a relationship into the mix!  Your friends will have to make time for each other and, unfortunately, that may mean a li’l less time with you.  But, look on the positive side, girly. 

This will give you time to make new friends too!  You can still hang with your besties, but try getting involved in some other clubs and get to know some of your other friends better.  For all you know, this not-so-great sitch could help you make some great new friends!

6/2/2010 3:12:00 PM