I tell too many crushes I like them!

Most girls have problems getting the courage to tell a guy she likes him. I, on the other hand, am the exact opposite. I tell my crush I like him too soon, before I'm even sure of my feelings. I say it, and then I regret it the very same day. How can I take it slow and keep my mouth shut long enough to decide how I really feel?

Hey girl, first of all, I have to give you some major props! Being able to tell a guy how you really feel takes a lot of bravery. That said, you’re right: there is a such thing as going too fast, and you seem to be outrunning your feelings on this one. So slow down! I’ve got some tips to help you get to know your potential Romeo, channel your emotional boldness in other places and figure out whether you do or do not have feelings for your current flame.

Set Your Rule
First thing first, make a rule for yourself. Wait two weeks before you tell a guy you like him. When you think you like a new cutie, give it some time: if you feel the same way you feel now about this dude after getting to know him for two (or more) weeks then tell him. Until then, nothing. This two week wait period will help you get a better idea whether your feelings are the real deal.

Getting to Know You
So how do you get to know this guy? Hanging out with him one-on-one and with friends. Stick to friendly signs first so you don’t lead him on. Go for a walk in the neighborhood. Shoot hoops in the park with pals. Talk to him about his interests, fave things and get to know what truly makes him well, him. Then evaluate at the end of the day. Is he really a good fit with your personality? Do you have anything in common? It’s def easy to be infatuated with someone, but by getting to know them better you can really find if he’s a good fit with Y-O-U.

Check the Signs
After two weeks or more and a couple of chill sessions with your new flame, evaluate your feelings. Do you find you want to get to know this guy better still? Are you still constantly thinking about him? Do you still get that same emotional rush you did before you got to know him? Those are all signs you do like this dude and it’s time to hint you want something a little more than friendship. Not so much? Then stick to the friend zone. Even if this guy never becomes your BF, by putting the time in to talk and get to know him, you gain a new friend at least.

The Right Kind of Drama
And for that unreleased impulse pent up inside? Seek out new channels to express it and your emotions. For example, try acting classes. You already have the confidence to speak up. Acting gives you a place to express emotion without playing with people’s and your hearts. Sign up for a camp this summer and see how it goes. You may be the next big thing!

Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
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6/18/2010 12:00:00 AM
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