My friend is mean to my brother!

I have a friend who is constantly making remarks about how weird and stupid she thinks my brother is. If other people are around, they will usually stand up for him, and I do too. But she won't stop doing it, even after we tell her it's mean.
She loves hanging out with me, but I'm starting to think I don't want to be around her if she is going to be mean to my bro. I've already told her to be nice or else I won’t hang out with her, but it doesn't help. What should I do?

Hey girl, this is a sticky situation. On the one hand, you love your brother, as well you should. On the other hand, you like your friend. Friends may come and go, but family is forever. It sounds as though you and your brother are very close, which is awesome. In a perfect life, you could have the best of both worlds, but sometimes you have to make a choice.

Family comes first

Your brother is your blood, and if your friend doesn’t or won’t understand that, then maybe she’s not much of a friend after all. You’ve demonstrated you’re an awesome sister by standing up for your brother. Even if he doesn’t say it, your actions probably mean the world to him, so keep up the good job. Brothers and sisters have each other’s backs at all times. It’s one of the best parts of being family.

What’s so funny?

Perhaps the best approach here is the most direct one. Simply ask your friend, “What is your problem? Why are you always making fun of my brother?” Chances are, she won’t have a good answer because there are no valid excuses. Ask her how she would feel if you made fun of her siblings, or better yet, if you made fun of her. You could say, “When you make fun of my brother, you’re making fun of me and I don’t appreciate it.”

Deal or no deal

It’s possible your friend is jealous of your relationship with your brother and she thinks this is the best way to get your attention. If it’s a closer bond with her own sibling your friend is craving, help her form a stronger relationship by showing her how you get along with your brother.

If your friend fails to realize how important your brother is to you and continues to make fun of him, then it may be time to let her go. Let her know you like her as a friend, but your brother comes first. True friends will understand and respect you and your brother. Best of luck, hon.

Lots of love,
L’Oreal
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6/30/2010 7:00:00 AM
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