Some girls are just natural attention seekers—making their way through life in the teen scene by being the life of the party or the belle of the ball. Making friends, talking to others and snagging BFs come so naturally that they seem never have to worry about feeling shy or embarrassed or awkward.

On the other side of the room, though, there are the quiet girls who have their own social circles, but keep quiet at group gatherings. If this is your M.O., then these helpful hints will help you transform from a wallflower into a social butterfly!

Mingle

It sounds hard but it really isn’t. Got any friends who may know a few people that you don’t? Stick to them, meet their buds and make ‘em your own. Fab it up! Volunteer to pass the tray of cupcakes at your BFFs next bash. It’ll give you a reason to go up to people, introduce yourself and offer up a sweet smile (and a treat they won’t refuse).

Get chatty

Striking up a conversation doesn’t have to be scary. If you’re nervous, listen in on a convo your friend is having and chime in with your opinion or a witty joke when you feel comfortable. Fab it up! Conversation topics are everywhere, you just have to get past your “I don’t know what to say!” brain block. Talk about the last episode of Dancing with the Stars, your latest HW assignment, a funky bracelet you found at a thrift store, the new book you’re reading—anything!

Find common interests

Still think you have nothing to say? Ask a good friend if they know anyone who plays soccer, cheerleads or rides horses. Tell her you’d love to meet this person, and when you’re introduced, a quick, “OMG, Sara told me you totally whipped the guys at tennis last weekend!” will get the convo rolling in no time flat. Fab it up! Don’t make your chat into an interrogation. Offer up info about you, too, and don’t be afraid to toot your own horn. Think: “You’re trying out for All State this year? I was picked for that last year. Wanna practice together?”

Be adventurous

Do you always pick truth instead of dare or opt to ref the game of capture the flag instead of joining in? It’s time to get your game on, girl! Join in party games enthusiastically and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. People will love that you’re game, and they’ll wanna spend more time hangin’ with the cool girl that wore an I heart Barney shirt to school on Monday on a dare. Fab it up! Don’t just go along grudgingly—own your actions! When you get the “I heart Barney” dare, on the back of the tee, screen print a pic of Barney Rubble from The Flintstones and write, “Blonds are sooo my type.” Snap!

What are your social butterfly secrets, sweeties?

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