She's Got a Bad Rep With Boys...

There's a girl at my school who acts very inappropriately around the opposite sex. None of the girls like her (some just pretend to like her; they talk about her behind her back), and none of the guys respect her (they just like it when she shows off her boobs).


She tries to steal everyone's boyfriends, and there are rumors that she's sent nude pictures to guys. My mom tells me to feel sorry for her, because she has no one to guide her (her mom's a lesbian), but I know her grandmother, and she has reprimanded her time and again. How do I deal with this girl?


Scandalous!


Hey girlie!

That def sounds like a tough sitch to deal with. Dealing with different girls' personalities is def difficult when peeps are just trying to figure out who they are or want to be. It's tough to fit in and not everyone knows how to do it right so it can be hard for all and take a li'l time.


So you say she acts differently just around the opposite sex? And it's just her and her mom at home, for the most part? Then maybe she likes attention from boys since she doesn't have many around too often. She might not be as well adjusted as you who has a dad, brothers and ample BGFs. That's not something to hold against her. She's trying to fit in like you and hasn't quite figured out the right way to do it. But that is what growing up is all about, trying out new things and learning from your mistakes. As we have seen in the life of celebs, nude pics are never a good idea and always something they eventually have to face the realities of.


Does this girl not have too many close girl friends? Be the bigger person here and try reaching out to her. A simple smile as you pass in the hall, or tell her you love her new spring 'do can really go a long way for a person's daily boost. Maybe she thinks she just wants someone close to her that she can talk about things with and doesn't know how to ask for a friend. Friends are allowed to be honest with each other. If her behavior doesn't start to change once you lend a helping hand, sit her down and talk with her about it in a gentle way. She might even think want she is doing is the same as all the other girlies at school.


Try standing up for her. Sure, she has a bad rep, but it doesn't have to be like that. Maybe she is just playing into the stereotype the students have already created for her and she doesn't know how to get out of it. If people view her differently, maybe she will grow out of it too. It is all about people and how they act or react to others. She might not be the most appropriate person but the peeps who are gossiping about her aren't so appro either. If all of the girls who really just pretended to be her friend were pals, things might change and she could be a whole new person with a truckload of real friends with a great personality.


We are all constantly fighting for the attention and approval of others. People can be brutal. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you would feel if people were saying the same things about you as they do her. Not feeling so great, huh? I¹m sure she has some idea what people think and say about her but it takes actions on more than one side to be able to change. Others must be accepting of her changing as well. Start being open to new people and new ideas. The fact that her mom is a  lesbian is not to blame or the cause her behavior. But start introducing her to new activities. Going to the movies with some friends from school, going for a picnic in the park or just laying out for a li'l sun after school? Ask her along. I'm sure she could share some pretty cool stories with you as well.


Once this girl has a good base around her of real friends who she knows care about her, she'll be more comfortable with the group. She'll be able to be herself without screaming for attention in other ways. And she'll def be happy that someone was there for her. You can about yourself too that you helped someone while gaining a new friend along the way.


Def try to connect with her to understand her before you keep judging her. She is probably a great girl deep down in her and doesn't know how to prove it to others. So give her a hand with it and show others how great she really is. Good luck gaining new friends!


~ Amanda
 

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5/15/2009 7:00:00 AM
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