Sad about my stepfather

My stepfather recently passed away in January. My mom was married to him for four months before he got in a tragic plane accident with his two best friends. No one survived.

My stepfather was very close to me. Now I feel separated from everyone. No one sees me the same way.
How do I get back to my normal, bubbly, happy self again without having to fake it?

Hey girl, I am so sorry you had to go through this trauma. I know it must seem totally unfair. Sometimes things happen in life that we cannot understand or explain, and they just leave us wondering, "Why me?" I know you prob cannot imagine getting back to your old self, but try following these tips, and see if they can help you bring back your bubbly self again.

First off, your school has guidance counselors that are there to provide support in rough times. They are a great way to get all those built up frustrations out. I know you probably have a lot of anger and confusion pent up. Don't be afraid to use your counselor to let it out! She can also find you some support groups, which can really help you cope with all the feelings and emotions you're facing right now.

Support groups can be a great place for you to meet other people who may be experiencing the same or similar issues. By talking, or even just listening, to other's stories you can help yourself understand why this is happening to you. Talking it out will help get out your emotions. You may even make close friends there. A support group will help you move on, while still cherishing your stepfather's memory and all the great times you shared with him.

When I'm upset, I need to take time focusing on things that I personally enjoy instead of dwelling on the pain. Enjoy writing? Keep a journal that only you can read! Love the outdoors? Go for a walk or join the environmental or nature club at school! Find whatever it is that you loved doing before this tragedy, and use it to help bring you some of the pleasure that you had before all this pain came your way.

This may be one of the toughest sitches that you have to deal with in your entire life. It may take a while to get back to your old self, and that's perfectly understandable. Remember that you can always go to your mom. Most likely, she is feeling a lot of the same stuff you are. Also, don't hesitate to lean on your BFFs for support. That's what they're there for. Hang in there, chica!

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by Jackie E. | 2/1/2016
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