My folks are divorced, and my mom has custody of me. But my dad always asks me to live with him when I’m older.

If I do, I’ll have to change schools and leave my friends. Plus, I’ll miss my mom. But I’m afraid to hurt my dad’s feelings. What can I do?

I totally understand that you don’t want to give up your friends and familiar surroundings. If you’re happy where you are, tell Dad. Not living with your dad doesn’t mean you don’t love him, and it doesn’t even mean you don’t want to live with him—it just means you’re doing what’s best for yourself right now.

Explain how much you love your school and friends. Tell him you love him, too, and that you’re psyched he wants you to live with him but that you’d rather stay with your mom. Suggest more time together, like going out during the week instead of just on weekends. Maybe you two could take a trip.

What about living with him for the summer? You might even discover Dad lives in a pretty cool place and has fun neighbors. But you should never feel like you have to do something you’re not comfy doing just to make someone else happy—even if that someone is dear old Dad. He wants his girl to be happy and, if that means staying with Mom, he’ll understand.

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7/16/2009 7:00:00 AM