I don't have a backbone and I know it, but now it's starting to catch up with me. Everyone says that I'm so sweet and wouldn't harm a fly. If I talk about doing something tough they always laugh. And I'm TIRED of it.

How do I get more of a backbone?

It’s a great thing that people think of you as a sweetheart and genuinely nice girl, but of course it can be tough when people don't take you seriously when it comes to standing up for yourself!

Let your friends know that you love being known as the nice girl but at the same time you have another side too—which means you need to be respected when you say NO to something.

If something bothers you, speak up; don’t let it slide. Even something small, like your friends wanting to go out for sushi when you’re so not into it. Nicely suggest doing something else. “Hey guys, I’m a li’l sick of sushi, how about we try a game of bowling instead? I heard there’s fun music on Friday nights!” Offering your unique opinion plus a fun reason is a surefire way to get your friends to understand ya.

Remember, having a backbone doesn’t mean you necessarily have to be mean. Be firm, be fair, be honest, speak up and stick to your opinions. Your friends will be sure to catch on quick and see a whole new side of you!

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7/27/2009 7:00:00 AM