I don't know what to do. My friend Jackie, well I don't really like her anymore, keeps on lying to me and my really close friends. She makes up stories about her life just to make her seem more interesting. Why can't she be herself?

One time when we were in the car, she told me that she and here sister were walking somewhere and all the cars were beeping at them. Then, since I was used to all of this lying, I said, "Oh okay" in a really dull uninterested voice. Then she said, "Maybe it was because my sister threw soda at them." Her sister is a sophomore in high school so why would she throw soda at them? Her sister's not that immature.

She's done even more than that. She's making all of us mad and me and my friends are ready to kick her out of our clique. How can we do that without hurting her a lot?

Any girl would be hurt if her friends kicked her out of the pal posse. Before you resort to disowning her, I think you should confront her. Sometimes people lie because they want to feel better about themselves or they feel like they need to impress people. If she is your friend and she is doing this, she may feel like she doesn’t quite fit in with you gals. She obviously has some insecurities going on right now, so calling her out on her lying ways in front of a big group will definitely embarrass her and make her feel worse.

If there is a girl in your group who is closest to her, have her talk to her one on one. It is easiest just to say “ I think you are a wonderful girl and I love hanging out with you. So does everyone else, but I have noticed that you have started to exaggerate the truth a little and it bothers me. I just want to tell you that I love who you are and I don’t want you to feel like you have to impress us. “ It is important not to come out and call her a liar. This is will put her on the defense and she will not be open to conversation.

I know how annoying it is when there is that one girl in the group who just doesn’t flow with everyone else. I can tell you that it is a really petty and mean thing to tell someone you don’t want to be her friend anymore. Sometimes loving people means accepting their faults too. There is a reason you became friends with her in the first place, that person is still there, she may just be going through some stuff that makes her feel inadequate. And if that’s the case, then she really needs a group of buds to support her. Try to talk it out. There even may be something going on in her home life that is making her act this way.

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8/12/2009 7:00:00 AM