I'm so mean to my mom and I just don't know what to do. It’s like everything she says ticks me off. She's so overdramatic and stubborn.

She always says that I need to change my attitude about my stepfather and that I’m a bad child. It’s like my mom and I are at war. What can I do to fix it?

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through some rough patches with your mother. But don’t sweat it! Seeing that you’re taking the initiative to find a solution, you’re already on the right track. All that’s left is to make sure you stay on it (with some help, of course!).

In this sitch, know that patience is key. If you get ticked off by your mom, your madre will react and get upset, and there’s gonna be cycle that goes on and on. At some point, someone has to break it up. The next time your mom says something that bothers you, take a deep breath and take it out differently. Head to your room to cool off, count to 10 or jot down how you're feeling in a journal.

Try to understand your mother’s side of the story. Sure, her words may sound exaggerated and irrational at times, but you gotta consider whether or not there’s some truth to it. Maybe you think you're OK with your stepdad, but maybe she thinks your short answers to him can come off as rude or snotty. In other words, take a closer look to see what the problem might be.

Talk to your mom about how you've been feeling when you're calm and your heads a li'l clearer. 'Fess up if you've done anything wrong—like you've kept your room sloppy or totally slacked on your stepdad's bday. Have an open convo about how BOTH of you could be better and improve your relationship. End it off by planning on some cute mother-daughter QT. Maybe you'll go out to brunch every other Sunday or she'll help you go spring shopping. Bond away and get to know each other better sans the drama.

1/23/2010 7:00:00 AM